The Onion Presents: Love, Sex, and Other Natural Disasters

The Onion Presents: Love, Sex, and Other Natural Disasters PDF

Author: The Staff of The Onion

Publisher: Quirk Books

Published: 2012-01-31

Total Pages: 148

ISBN-13: 1594745552

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Here are more than one hundred news stories of high-school sweethearts, college hook-ups, dating disasters, weddings, divorces, and restraining orders. From “18-Year-Old Miraculously Finds Soulmate in Hometown” to “Couple Forgets 70th Wedding Anniversary,” these reports capture the heartbreak and hilarity of the human experience.

The Onion Presents: Christmas Exposed

The Onion Presents: Christmas Exposed PDF

Author: The Onion Staff

Publisher: Quirk Books

Published: 2011-10-25

Total Pages: 148

ISBN-13: 1594745447

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100+ funny Christmas stories about secret Santas, dysfunctional families, epic blizzards, and much more—all from the pages of America’s finest (satirical) news source. Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without impulse-priced holiday gift books—and now The Onion has unleashed its award-winning team of investigative journalists upon the genre. Featuring entertaining illustrations and over 100 shocking holiday stories, Christmas Exposed is the perfect gift book for smart alecks everywhere.

The Onion Presents: Christmas Exposed

The Onion Presents: Christmas Exposed PDF

Author: The Onion Staff

Publisher: Quirk Books

Published: 2011-10-25

Total Pages: 148

ISBN-13: 1594745420

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Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without impulse-priced holiday gift books—and now The Onion has unleashed its award-winning team of investigative journalists upon the genre. Christmas Exposed features more than one hundred shocking tales of Secret Santas, shopping mall mayhem, dysfunctional family dinners, and much, much more.

Mr Alexander's Four Steps to Love

Mr Alexander's Four Steps to Love PDF

Author: Alexander Stadler

Publisher: Quirk Books

Published: 2003

Total Pages: 104

ISBN-13: 9781931686525

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True love is just four steps away! Put your best foot forward with Mr. Alexander's Four Steps to Love, a simple program for finding the soul mate you deserve. In just four easy steps, you'll learn how to visualize your perfect partner, show off your best features, meet 2,000 new people, and find the dream companion who lives within. Mr. Alexander's whimsical illustrations and handwritten instructions guide you through visualization exercises, motivational rituals, take-charge activities, and more. These techniques have already helped people around the world find their partners in life--and now they can help you. We can't change our fate--but we can improve our odds. Mr. Alexander shows us how.

The Onion Book of Known Knowledge

The Onion Book of Known Knowledge PDF

Author: The Onion

Publisher: Little, Brown

Published: 2012-10-23

Total Pages: 259

ISBN-13: 031613323X

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Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the print industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion's compendium of all things known. Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood, and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information -- such as the life stages of an Aunt; places to kill one's self in Utica, New York; and the dimensions of a female bucket, or "pail." With hundreds of entries for all 27 letters of the alphabet, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge must be purchased immediately to avoid the sting of eternal ignorance.

The Onion Ad Nauseam

The Onion Ad Nauseam PDF

Author: Robert Siegel

Publisher: Three Rivers Press (CA)

Published: 2002

Total Pages: 273

ISBN-13: 1400047242

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An anthology encompassing hundreds of articles from September 2000 through September 2001 includes "No Jennifer Lopez News Today" and such post-September 11 works as "Hijackers Surprised to Find Selves in Hell."

Our Dumb Century

Our Dumb Century PDF

Author: Scott Dikkers

Publisher: Crown Archetype

Published: 2007-09-25

Total Pages: 178

ISBN-13: 0307393577

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The staff of The Onion presents a satirical collection of mock headlines and news stories, including an account of the Pentagon's development of an A-bomb-resistant desk for schoolchildren.

The GayBCs

The GayBCs PDF

Author: M. L. Webb

Publisher: Quirk Books

Published: 2019-10-08

Total Pages: 38

ISBN-13: 1683691636

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A Moms Demand Action Book Club Pick “The perfect way to teach your kiddos LGBTQ+ vocab while celebrating the beauty of embracing yourself and others.”—KIWI Magazine A joyful celebration of LGBTQ+ vocabulary for kids of all ages! A playdate extravaganza transforms into a joyful celebration of friendship, love, and identity as four young friends sashay out of all the closets, dress up in a wardrobe fit for kings and queens, and discover the wonders of their imagination. In The GayBCs, M. L. Webb’s playful illustrations and lively poems delight in the beauty of embracing one’s truest self—from A is for Aro and Ace to F is for Family to T is for Trans. The GayBCs is a heartwarming and accessible gift to show kids and adults alike that every person is worthy of being celebrated. A bonus glossary offers opportunities for further discussion of complete terms, communities, and inclusive identities.

The Onion Presents Homeland Insecurity

The Onion Presents Homeland Insecurity PDF

Author: Scott Dikkers

Publisher: Random House Digital, Inc.

Published: 2006

Total Pages: 322

ISBN-13: 030733984X

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Hot off the reprint presses! Onion fans hear this! Homeland Insecurity is the largest collection of award-winning journalism from America's Finest News Source ever released, and that means you must buy it! Featuring every brilliantly biting article printed in The Onion between November 2004 and December 2005, a time in our country's history ripe for further examination by America's Finest News Source, Homeland Insecurity collects all the news reporting you were too lazy to read when it first appeared, now delivered in a handy single volume that will fit perfectly on the bookshelf of your dorm, ward, or cell. Homeland Insecurity is Volume 17 in the always bestselling and always entertaining Onion series. The Onion is the world's most popular humor publication, with more than 3.8 million weekly visitors to its website (theonion.com) and a print circulation of more than 500,000. More than a million copies of its various books have been sold to date, beginning with Our Dumb Century, which was a #1 New York Times bestseller and winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor.

The Onion Magazine

The Onion Magazine PDF

Author: The Onion

Publisher: Little, Brown

Published: 2014-11-04

Total Pages: 272

ISBN-13: 031625648X

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Covers That Matter For People Who Don't. From America's Finest News Source comes a compilation of the most important, most influential, and glossiest magazine covers ever produced by the hand of humankind. Seen by tens of billions worldwide, these are the unforgettable Onion Magazine covers that altered the course of human history and radically redefined your trivial life anew every weekend. Profound philosophical questions, the thoughts of leading cultural luminaries, harsh truths of existence, remorseless personal attacks -- you will encounter full-color graphical representations of all of these within this handsome volume. Whether you are a connoisseur of pretty pictures or are new to looking at images, THE ONION MAGAZINE: THE ICONIC COVERS THAT TRANSFORMED AN UNDESERVING WORLD is sure to give you, the feebleminded consumer, far more pleasure than you have any earthly right to experience.