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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge

Author: The Onion

Publisher: Little, Brown

Published: 2012-10-23

Total Pages: 259

ISBN-13: 031613323X

Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the print industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion's compendium of all things known. Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood, and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information -- such as the life stages of an Aunt; places to kill one's self in Utica, New York; and the dimensions of a female bucket, or "pail." With hundreds of entries for all 27 letters of the alphabet, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge must be purchased immediately to avoid the sting of eternal ignorance.

The Onion Book

Author:

Publisher: Broadway

Published: 1996

Total Pages: 360

ISBN-13: 9780385477352

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From common yellow globes to gourmet green garlic, onions of every variety abound in this seasonal collection of mouthwatering recipes for every course of the meal (except dessert). Seduced at the age of twelve by the tantalizing aroma of onions slowly caramelizing on the stove, Jan Roberts-Dominguez has been a devotee ever since. "The Onion Book is her tribute to every variety of Allium, from the common yellow globes to Walla Wallas, Mauis, Vidalias, and Texas Sweets, including scallions, chives, leeks, pearl onions, shallots, and garlic. "The Onion Book offers 175 recipes, grouped according to season, for foolproof and delicious dishes ranging from Early Summer Gazpacho to Garlic Pork Stew and Oven-Roasted Balsamic Onions to Carrot and Leek Tart. Sprinkled throughout are fascinating and entertaining tidbits of onion history and lore. (Did you know that until the middle of the eighteenth century Siberia's tax collector was paid in garlic?) Also included are lists of onion festivals held throughout the year in the United States and abroad, as well as mail-order sources for onions of every variety. There is nutritional and health information, as well as tips on how to conquer "onion breath" and onion tears. In short, this is the book for every onion-loving cook to have in the kitchen--a single, infallible source for onion recipes and information of every kind. With a master's degree in home economics, Jan Roberts-Dominguez learned the arts of recipe development and food styling at Western Foods and Associates, a professional test kitchen in San Francisco. Her newspaper column "Green Cuisine" is syndicated through the West, and she writes and illustrates a weeklycolumn titled "Preserving" for the Portland Oregonian from May through October each year. She is the author/illustrator of three other cookbooks, including, most recently, "The Mustard Book. She lives in Corvallis, Oregon.

Our Dumb Century

Author: Scott Dikkers

Publisher: Crown Archetype

Published: 2007-09-25

Total Pages: 178

ISBN-13: 0307393577

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The staff of The Onion presents a satirical collection of mock headlines and news stories, including an account of the Pentagon's development of an A-bomb-resistant desk for schoolchildren.

Buried Onions

Author: Gary Soto

Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

Published: 2006

Total Pages: 172

ISBN-13: 9780152062651

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When nineteen-year-old Eddie drops out of college, he struggles to find a place for himself as a Mexican American living in a violence-infested neighborhood of Fresno, California.

Bun, Onion, Burger

Author: Peter Mandel

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2010-06-08

Total Pages: 38

ISBN-13: 1416924663

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Simple rhyming text follows the steps in making and eating a tasty hamburger.

Oliver Onion

Author:

Publisher: AAPC Publishing

Published: 2004

Total Pages: 56

ISBN-13: 9781931282642

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Unhappy with the way he looks, Oliver Onion decides to change his looks in hopes of becoming happier. He manages to wrap himself in an orange peel hoping that will help, but he soon realizes that it's best to stay who he is.

State of the Onion

Author: Julie Hyzy

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2008-01-02

Total Pages: 340

ISBN-13: 9780425218693

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Introducing White House Assistant Chef Olivia Paras, who is rising-and sleuthing-to the top. Includes recipes for a complete presidential menu! Never let them see you sweat-that's White House Assistant Chef Olivia Paras's motto, which is pretty hard to honor in the most important kitchen in the world. She's hell-bent on earning her dream job, Executive Chef. There's just one thing: her nemesis is vying for it, too. Well, that and the fact that an elusive assassin wants to see her fry.

Onion Street

Author: Reed Farrel Coleman

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2013-04-18

Total Pages: 330

ISBN-13: 1440561176

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From the author of the New York Times bestselling Robert B. Parker’sBlind Spot comes a Moe Prager Mystery. It's 1967 and Moe Prager is wandering aimlessly through his college career and his life. All that changes when his girlfriend Mindy is viciously beaten into a coma and left to die on the snow-covered streets of Brooklyn. Suddenly, Moe has purpose. He is determined to find out who's done this to Mindy and why. But Mindy is not the only person in Moe's life who's in danger. Someone is also trying to kill his best and oldest friend, Bobby Friedman. Things get really strange when Moe enlists the aid of Lids, a half-cracked genius drug pusher from the old neighborhood. Lids hooks Moe up with his first solid information. Problem is, the info seems to take Moe in five directions at once and leads to more questions than answers. How is a bitter old camp survivor connected to the dead man in the apartment above his fixit shop, or to the OD-ed junkie found on the boardwalk in Coney Island? What could an underground radical group have to do with the local Mafioso capo? And where do Mindy and Bobby fit into any of this? Moe will risk everything to find the answers. He will travel from the pot-holed pavement of Brighton Beach to the Pocono Mountains to the runways at Kennedy Airport. But no matter how far he goes or how fast he gets there, all roads lead to Onion Street.

The Onion Ambassador

Author: Rhonda Frost Kight

Publisher:

Published: 2001-03

Total Pages: 28

ISBN-13: 9780970910509

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A south Georgia farmer and his wife discover a giant onion named Yumion. His mission is to tell the world about Vidalia onions.

The Onion Presents A Book of Jean's Own!

Author: Jean Teasdale

Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin

Published: 2010-10-12

Total Pages: 272

ISBN-13: 1429951826

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A few words from the author and eponymous columnist behind The Onion's column, "A Room of Jean's Own," Jean Teasdale: Hi Jeanketeers and Jeanketeers-to-be!! As The Onion's very own Humor and Human-Interest columnist, I've been entertaining readers for 15 years with kooky tales of life with my hubby and our two feline children. Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!) A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to! Among the many nuggets of fun: * I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name! * I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting! * Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own! * Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs! * You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party! * Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree! * Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!) * Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!) I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!