Men Are Stupid . . . And They Like Big Boobs

Men Are Stupid . . . And They Like Big Boobs PDF

Author: Joan Rivers

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2008-12-30

Total Pages: 306

ISBN-13: 1416599223

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Delivered with Joan's signature sense of humour, Men Are Stupid...And They Like Big Boobs is a no-nonsense, common-sense, "can-we-talk" guide to the ins and outs of such increasingly common beauty procedures as botox injections, chemical peels, microdermabrasion, liposuction, rhinoplasty, eye lifts, breast augmentation-and much more. Chapters include: Peels and Fillers, Sucks to Be You, Eyes Wide Open, Care Enough to Do Your Very, Very Breast, Less Where You Don't Want It, More Where You Do, and Bringing Up the Rear. Filled with practical wisdom and plenty of wisecracks, this fun and inspirational guide is for every woman who wants to look and feel gorgeous.

Don't Count the Candles

Don't Count the Candles PDF

Author: Joan Rivers

Publisher: HarperTorch

Published: 2000-05-02

Total Pages: 240

ISBN-13: 9780061097973

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There's No Such Thing As Over The Hill, Because The Hill Has Been Moved!In this humorous, practical book, Joan Rivers shows every woman how to be the best she can be and stay youthful, healthy, and mellow at any--and every--age. Filled with the latest information as well as entertaining anecdotes and stories, Don't Count the Candles provides down-to-earth, sensible advice on everything that every woman needs to be her best, from wardrobe and fitness to surgery and sex.Here is Joan Rivers's own unique take on aging: IQ does not decrease with age. If you were a moron at twenty, you will be a moron at seventy-five. At fifty, confine your piercing to sardine cans and keep your hair short. Eat all you want, just don't swallow it. A roll in the hay keeps the doctor away--unless he happens to be in the hay with you. Take it from Joan Rivers--you've got a lot of living left to do!

From Mother to Daughter

From Mother to Daughter PDF

Author: Joan Rivers

Publisher: Birch Lane Press

Published: 1998

Total Pages: 104

ISBN-13: 9781559724937

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In this remarkable, touching, and timely book--which grew out of a letter to her daughter Melissa--comedienne and talk show host Joan Rivers writes about a series of highly personal but universal subjects, including religion, fate, sex, life changes, the importance of touching and contact, money, trust, love, and death.

The Reasons I Won't Be Coming

The Reasons I Won't Be Coming PDF

Author: Elliot Perlman

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2006-12-05

Total Pages: 338

ISBN-13: 9781594482236

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The stories in this collection explore the complex worlds of lovers, poets, lawyers, immigrants, students, and murderers. They tell of corporate betrayals and lost opportunities, and of the obsessions, hopes, fears, and vagaries of desire.

Jewelry by Joan Rivers

Jewelry by Joan Rivers PDF

Author: Joan Rivers

Publisher:

Published: 1995

Total Pages: 164

ISBN-13: 9781558598089

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"Joan Rivers adores jewelry. She loves to shop for it, wear it, and design it. She also loves to talk about it, which is just what she does throughout this glittering volume. Her passion for jewelry - as romantic keepsake, fashion accessory, and personal statement - informs every page of Jewelry by Joan Rivers. She describes the pieces that she has always admired, particularly those that have influenced her own designs. She tells the fascinating stories of her favorite jewelry designers, from the fabulous Faberge to the phenomenal Bulgari brothers. She devotes a chapter to accessorizing with jewelry, offering countless tips on how to turn that plain outfit into a totally chic ensemble by knowing what jewelry to select, and demonstrating the different looks that jewelry can achieve in a series of fashion photographs taken exclusively for this book." "All of Joan River's love and knowledge of jewelry is reflected in the pieces she designs for her own line of costume jewelry - the Joan Rivers Classics Collection - hundreds of which are reproduced here in specially commissioned, full-color photographs. And she takes us behind the scenes to show us how her jewelry is crafted, from initial sketches to finished product."--BOOK JACKET.Title Summary field provided by Blackwell North America, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Diary of a Mad Diva

Diary of a Mad Diva PDF

Author: Joan Rivers

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2014-07-01

Total Pages: 304

ISBN-13: 1101632046

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From the headline-making, New York Times bestselling author of I Hate Everyone...Starting With Me comes another intimate glimpse into the delightfully hilarious mind of Joan Rivers. When her daughter Melissa gives her a diary for Christmas, at first Joan is horrified—who the hell does Melissa think she is? That fat pig, Bridget Jones? But as Joan, being both beautiful and introspective, begins to record her day-to-day musings, she realizes she has a lot to say. About everything. And everyone, God help them. The result? A no-holds-barred, delightfully vicious and always hilarious look at the everyday life of the ultimate diva. Follow Joan on a family vacation in Mexico and on trips between New York and Los Angeles where she mingles with the stars, never missing a beat as she delivers blistering critiques on current events, and excoriating insights about life, pop culture, and celebrities (from A to D list), all in her relentlessly funny signature style. This is the Diary of a Mad Diva. Forget about Anais Nin, Anne Frank, and Sylvia Plath. For the first time in a century, a diary by someone that’s actually worth reading.

Joan Rivers Confidential

Joan Rivers Confidential PDF

Author: Melissa Rivers

Publisher: Abrams

Published: 2017-10-24

Total Pages: 342

ISBN-13: 1683351320

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“A gorgeous scrapbook of the late icon’s life—featuring clippings, letters, and dozens of finely honed quips from her famous-joke files.” —Vanity Fair Joan Rivers is an enduring icon of the twentieth century, and her wildly popular humor has appealed to generations of fans. With a career that began in the late 1950s, Joan kept mementos over the course of her entire working life, and Joan Rivers Confidential is a compilation of never-before-seen personal archives. Assembled by her daughter Melissa with Scott Currie, the book contains scripts and monologues, letters from famous friends, exchanges with fans, rare photographs, as well as classic and never-before-heard jokes—many simply scribbled on everything from hotel stationery to airplane boarding passes. Touching on subjects from her 50 years in show business (The Tonight Show, Las Vegas, Elizabeth Taylor, Heidi Abromowitz, the red carpet, and Fashion Police), this is a revelatory and humor-filled insider look at the popular, multitalented comedian. “It’s easy to forget, in this era of Amy Schumer and Sarah Silverman, how revolutionary it was for a meticulously coiffed, nice Jewish girl from Brooklyn—born in 1933!—to get up onstage and crack jokes about hookers, the Holocaust, and her vagina. What fun it is to be reminded.” —W Magazine “From joke cards and contracts to personal letters from pals like Nancy Reagan and Prince Charles, Rivers’ mountain of memorabilia was mostly sealed and largely unseen—until now.” —Women’s Wear Daily “For fans, this is a gold mine. For others who are simply curious about this unstoppable force, it’s a fun, loving tribute.” —Southern Jewish Life

Bouncing Back

Bouncing Back PDF

Author: Joan Rivers

Publisher: Harper Collins

Published: 2010-08-31

Total Pages: 148

ISBN-13: 0062004557

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A fiercely honest and moving story of how Joan Rivers, one of comedy's greatest stars, survived the worst that life could throw at her, how she hit bottom and then made it back to the top. "There are many self-help books by Ph.D's, but I hold a different degree: an I.B.T.I.A. — I've Been Through It All. This degree comes not on parchment but on gauze, and it entitles me to tell you that there is a way to get through any misfortune." —From Bouncing Back Survival stratagems from Joan Rivers Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger And always remember: Surviving is the best revenge Look at Alexander Graham Bell, who did 22,000 experiments before he hit on the telephone. Just a few more and he would have had call waiting Whenever I hit bottom, the only thing I think of was set down by Jerome Kern: Pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again. Dr. Kevorkian will get no call from me, unless I think he'd look good in a brooch.

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