How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You PDF

Author: The Oatmeal Staff

Publisher:

Published: 2012-07-15

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9781449417055

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The Oatmeal 2013 Wall Calendar • The Oatmeal is one of the most popular Web comics online, getting an average of 4.6 million unique visitorsand more than 20 million page views a month. • Time magazine named TheOatmeal.com one of the best blogs of 2010. Based on Matthew Inman's hugely popular Web site and hisNew York Timesbest-selling book5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth,How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You 2013 Wall Calendarfeatures a quirky and humorous full-color comic each month along with a user-friendly grid. As a bonus, the calendar also includes a free, pull-out poster.

Why My Cat Is More Impressive Than Your Baby

Why My Cat Is More Impressive Than Your Baby PDF

Author: Matthew Inman

Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published: 2019-06-04

Total Pages: 160

ISBN-13: 1524854336

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Why My Cat Is More Impressive Than Your Baby is chockfull of comics about cats, babies, dogs, lasers, selfies, and pigeons! This book contains a vast wealth of never-before-seen comics, including informative guides, such as: How to comfortably sleep next to your cat 10 ways to befriend a misanthropic cat How to hold a baby when you are not used to holding babies A dog’s guide to walking a human being How to cuddle like you mean it Includes a pull-out poster of: How to tell if your cat thinks you’re not that big of a deal.

My Dog: The Paradox

My Dog: The Paradox PDF

Author: The Oatmeal

Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published: 2013-05-07

Total Pages: 35

ISBN-13: 1449437710

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This eponymous comic became an instant hit when it went live on The Oatmeal.com and was liked on Facebook by 700,000 fans. Now fans will have a keepsake book of this comic to give and to keep. In My Dog: The Paradox, Inman discusses the canine penchant for rolling in horse droppings, chasing large animals four times their size, and acting recklessly enthusiastic through the entirety of their impulsive, lovable lives. Hilarious and heartfelt, My Dog: The Paradox eloquently illustrates the complicated relationship between man and dog. We will never know why dogs fear hair dryers, or being baited into staring contests with cats, but as Inman explains, perhaps we love dogs so much “because their lives aren’t lengthy, logical, or deliberate, but an explosive paradox composed of fur, teeth, and enthusiasm.”

How to Massage Your Cat

How to Massage Your Cat PDF

Author: Alice M. Brock

Publisher: Chronicle Books

Published: 2003-07

Total Pages: 54

ISBN-13: 9780811840699

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As kitty gift books go, this is "the best, funniest, most inspiring" of them all, according to the Village Voice and tens of thousands of dedicated readers. Now out on the prowl with a new cover that's the cat's meow, it's ready to inspire a second wave of cats and their owners to relax into a catnap. Author and illustrator Alice M. Brock (of Arlo Guthrie's "Alice's Restaurant" fame) counsels cat owners to approach the cat quietly with palms "up and open." Beginning at the rear, the masseur works all the way around the cat using a "vigorous kneading motion," then rubs, presses, twists, and tugs the cat into a state of complete relaxation. We are assured that a well-massaged cat may remain in a state of prolonged calm "for some time." Brock's instructions are accompanied by charming illustrations sure to inspire a mischievous chuckle in both friends and foes of felines everywhere.

Cat Wars

Cat Wars PDF

Author: Peter P. Marra

Publisher: Princeton University Press

Published: 2016-09-20

Total Pages: 222

ISBN-13: 0691167419

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Why our cats are a danger to species diversity and human health In 1894, a lighthouse keeper named David Lyall arrived on Stephens Island off New Zealand with a cat named Tibbles. In just over a year, the Stephens Island Wren, a rare bird endemic to the island, was rendered extinct. Mounting scientific evidence confirms what many conservationists have suspected for some time—that in the United States alone, free-ranging cats are killing birds and other animals by the billions. Equally alarming are the little-known but potentially devastating public health consequences of rabies and parasitic Toxoplasma passing from cats to humans at rising rates. Cat Wars tells the story of the threats free-ranging cats pose to biodiversity and public health throughout the world, and sheds new light on the controversies surrounding the management of the explosion of these cat populations. This compelling book traces the historical and cultural ties between humans and cats from early domestication to the current boom in pet ownership, along the way accessibly explaining the science of extinction, population modeling, and feline diseases. It charts the developments that have led to our present impasse—from Stan Temple's breakthrough studies on cat predation in Wisconsin to cat-eradication programs underway in Australia today. It describes how a small but vocal minority of cat advocates has campaigned successfully for no action in much the same way that special interest groups have stymied attempts to curtail smoking and climate change. Cat Wars paints a revealing picture of a complex global problem—and proposes solutions that foresee a time when wildlife and humans are no longer vulnerable to the impacts of free-ranging cats.

5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides)

5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides) PDF

Author: The Oatmeal

Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published: 2010-10-01

Total Pages: 162

ISBN-13: 1449406750

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In Matthew Inman's New York Times best selling 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides), samurai sword-wielding kittens and hamsters that love .50-caliber machine guns commingle with a cracked out Tyrannosaur that is extremely hard to potty train. Bacon is better than true love and you may awake in the middle of the night to find your nephew nibbling on your toes. Sixtry of Inman's comic illustrations and life-bending guides are presented in full-color inside 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides). Consider such handy advice as: 4 Reasons to Carry a Shovel at All Times, 6 Types of Crappy Hugs, 8 Ways to Tell if Your Loved One Plans to Eat You, 17 Things Worth Knowing About Your Cat, and 20 Things Worth Knowing About Beer.

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety PDF

Author: Zachary Auburn

Publisher: Crown

Published: 2016-10-04

Total Pages: 144

ISBN-13: 0451494938

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The cats of America are under siege! Long gone are the good old days when a cat’s biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives. For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, “What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?” and “What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?” and especially “Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?” Our country—and our cats—stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats—and America—great again!

Why Cats are Assholes

Why Cats are Assholes PDF

Author: Liz Miele

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2021-03-30

Total Pages: 192

ISBN-13: 151075623X

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Most people love cats. They’re fluffy, playful, and can be a joy to have as a companion. However, they can also be huge assholes. So what can you do? How do you deal with a roommate who always seems to be plotting to kill you? While we all love sharing adorable photos of kittens, these frisky felines are known more for marching to the beat of their own drum than abiding by the rules. From running around your home at two in the morning, knocking everything off your shelves, or taking up most of your bed, these furry critters can be immensely selfish and disrespectful to those who give them endless love and affection. Why Cats Are Assholes is up for such a challenge. From studying their history all the way back to ancient Egypt, comedian Liz Miele—the daughter of veterinarians—digests the cat psyche to try and understand why they do the things they do, and how we, as their loyal servants, can handle domestic bliss with them around. With the help of her cat Pasta, Miele breaks down the common behaviors of cats in an attempt to try and better understand their plan of attack (if there is one), as well as what we can do to better prepare ourselves. Whether you have one, two, or twelve fur babies, Why Cats Are Assholes is the ultimate guide to better understanding your pet’s behavior while taking back your home from these domesticated terrorists.

Your Cat Is Trying to Kill You a Coloring Book for People Who Fear Their Adorable Cats

Your Cat Is Trying to Kill You a Coloring Book for People Who Fear Their Adorable Cats PDF

Author: Straight Outta Color

Publisher:

Published: 2019-08

Total Pages: 62

ISBN-13: 9781086700398

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Looking for a gift for that friend with all the cats? You've been to that house and see those cats sneaking up on you. You've seen the scratch marks. That cat is definitely trying to kill them! Warn them with this hilarious adult coloring book. 30 high quality pages (one per paper to avoid bleed and keep all those pictures frame-able!)Grab your colored pencils (at least the ones the cats haven't scratched to death) and calm your nerves by coloring these killer cats!