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When Husbands Die

Author: Shirley Reeser McNally

Publisher: Sunstone Press

Published: 2011-11-15

Total Pages: 209

ISBN-13: 1611390435

What happens to wives when husbands die? The quick answer is widowhood. The deeper truth is they are forced into a life change that has serious ramifications for themselves, their families, their friends and their futures. Are poems and songs written about widow-heroes, does literature extol their strength and courage, their independence gained, their new lives discovered? Hardly. But women have important stories to tell about this time in their lives when they come face to face with one of the most common and devastating life experiences for women everywhere. Seventy-nine story tellers have joined together to tell about the tragic time that begins when, in an instant, the husband dies, the man, the lover, the companion, the mate is gone--and so is the marriage! SHIRLEY REESER McNALLY, the originator of this project, is a graduate of Smith College as are Barbara Harrison Mulhern, Mary Witt Wydman and the majority of women whose stories are told in this book. Because Smith is a liberal arts college for women, it seemed logical to McNally that the alumnae of Smith would be a source and an audience for a study of widows. It has turned out to be so. “The work,” she says, “has been arduous, fascinating and redemptive.” The result is intended for current widows who can learn how others are handling the difficult situation forced upon them, and for women still married who, with their spouses, must plan for what well might occur in their futures.

Choosing to Live, Choosing to Die

Author: Carolyne Lee

Publisher: Australian Scholarly Publishing

Published: 2021-09-24

Total Pages: 275

ISBN-13: 1922669024

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At 45, Bill Johnson, faced with chronic illness and the loss of everything important to him, decided to die, seemingly in stark contradiction to how he’d lived his life. Since his devastating accident at 13, he’d fought for decades against disability and prejudice to achieve a fulfilling and successful life. As his wife, Carolyne Lee witnessed his final conundrum, and was persuaded to support him as he died by euthanasia. This is the story of Bill’s death and his life, much of which the author discovered afterwards, in seeking to understand his fearless final decision. ‘Somehow I must tell of that day … It is, after all, the initiating event of his story. It caused everything that followed: the bad, first, which endured for a long time. But also the good. This event set up the defining paradox of his life. To fight endlessly for a satisfying quality of life, but once that quality was gone, to face death with more than bravery; to embrace it.’ ‘A moving and intensely reflective journey into a life, a love and a death.’ —Margaret Simons, Walkley Award-winning journalist and author

In Love

Author: Amy Bloom

Publisher: Random House

Published: 2022-03-08

Total Pages: 241

ISBN-13: 0593243943

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NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A powerful memoir of a love that leads two people to find a courageous way to part—and a woman’s struggle to go forward in the face of loss—that “enriches the reader’s life with urgency and gratitude” (The Washington Post) “A pleasure to read . . . Rarely has a memoir about death been so full of life. . . . Bloom has a talent for mixing the prosaic and profound, the slapstick and the serious.”—USA Today ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: NPR Amy Bloom began to notice changes in her husband, Brian: He retired early from a new job he loved; he withdrew from close friendships; he talked mostly about the past. Suddenly, it seemed there was a glass wall between them, and their long walks and talks stopped. Their world was altered forever when an MRI confirmed what they could no longer ignore: Brian had Alzheimer’s disease. Forced to confront the truth of the diagnosis and its impact on the future he had envisioned, Brian was determined to die on his feet, not live on his knees. Supporting each other in their last journey together, Brian and Amy made the unimaginably difficult and painful decision to go to Dignitas, an organization based in Switzerland that empowers a person to end their own life with dignity and peace. In this heartbreaking and surprising memoir, Bloom sheds light on a part of life we so often shy away from discussing—its ending. Written in Bloom’s captivating, insightful voice and with her trademark wit and candor, In Love is an unforgettable portrait of a beautiful marriage, and a boundary-defying love.

Healing a Spouse's Grieving Heart

Author: Alan D. Wolfelt

Publisher: Companion Press

Published: 2003-11-01

Total Pages: 130

ISBN-13: 1879651378

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Helping widows and widowers learn how to cope with the grief of losing their helpmate, their lover, and perhaps their financial provider, this guide shows them how to find continued meaning in life when doing so seems difficult. Bereaved spouses will find advice on when and how to dispose of their mate's belongings, dealing with their children, and redefining their role with friends and family. Suggestions are provided for elderly mourners, young widows and widowers, unmarried lovers, and same-sex partners. The information and comfort offered apply to individuals whose spouse died recently or long ago.

Monogamy

Author: Sue Miller

Publisher: HarperCollins

Published: 2020-09-08

Total Pages: 352

ISBN-13: 0062969676

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NEW YORK TIMES NOTABLE BOOK OF 2020! NPR BEST BOOK OF 2020 PEOPLE MAGAZINE TOP TEN BOOKS OF THE YEAR BOOKPAGE BEST BOOK OF 2020 GOOD HOUSEKEEPING BEST BOOK OF 2020 “A sensual and perceptive novel. . . . With humor and humanity, Miller resists the simple scorned-wife story and instead crafts a revelatory tale of the complexities—and the absurdities—of love, infidelity, and grief.” —O, the Oprah Magazine A brilliantly insightful novel, engrossing and haunting, about marriage, love, family, happiness and sorrow, from New York Times bestselling author Sue Miller. Graham and Annie have been married for nearly thirty years. Their seemingly effortless devotion has long been the envy of their circle of friends and acquaintances. By all appearances, they are a golden couple. Graham is a bookseller, a big, gregarious man with large appetites—curious, eager to please, a lover of life, and the convivial host of frequent, lively parties at his and Annie’s comfortable house in Cambridge. Annie, more reserved and introspective, is a photographer. She is about to have her first gallery show after a six-year lull and is worried that the best years of her career may be behind her. They have two adult children; Lucas, Graham’s son with his first wife, Frieda, works in New York. Annie and Graham’s daughter, Sarah, lives in San Francisco. Though Frieda is an integral part of this far-flung, loving family, Annie feels confident in the knowledge that she is Graham’s last and greatest love. When Graham suddenly dies—this man whose enormous presence has seemed to dominate their lives together—Annie is lost. What is the point of going on, she wonders, without him? Then, while she is still mourning Graham intensely, she discovers a ruinous secret, one that will spiral her into darkness and force her to question whether she ever truly knew the man who loved her.

Lemons on Friday

Author: Mattie Jackson Selecman

Publisher: Thomas Nelson

Published: 2021-11-16

Total Pages: 209

ISBN-13: 0785241329

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When your life is suddenly full of questions, how do you move forward in faith? After being married for less than a year, country music legend Alan Jackson's daughter Mattie was faced with navigating a future that didn't include her young husband and the life they dreamed of together. Ben Selecman passed away twelve days after suffering a traumatic brain injury--and three weeks before celebrating his first anniversary with his wife. Suddenly, twenty-eight-year-old Mattie had to find a way to reconcile herself with a good God, even when He did not give her the healing miracle she prayed for. In Lemons on Friday, Mattie Jackson Selecman invites you to walk with her during the first years of grief following Ben's tragic death as she grapples with her loss and leans on a steadfast God. Mattie wrestles with questions that we've all faced in the midst of grief and loss, including: How did I get here? Will this always hurt? Who am I now? Where can I find the strength to keep going? Lemons on Friday will give you the encouragement you need to see life and love in a brand new light, no matter what you're facing. Praise for Lemons on Friday: "Mattie's story carries you through a valley of unbearable heartbreak, and in the very next moment, you are experiencing an ocean of peace that is the heartbeat of Jesus. Her honesty and vulnerability in this book are a beacon of light to any heart that has experienced total darkness. The courage and wisdom expressed through her words will inspire hope in readers, no matter their walk of life." —Lauren Akins, New York Times bestselling author of Live in Love

But what If She Wants to Die

Author: George E. Delury

Publisher: Birch Lane Press

Published: 1997

Total Pages: 248

ISBN-13:

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Written while George Delury was in prison for assisting with the suicide of his wife Myrna, who had multiple sclerosis and severe mental loss, this is the story of her last four months of life as he agonized over the decision of whether to comply with her request to die.

Option B

Author: Sheryl Sandberg

Publisher: Knopf

Published: 2017-04-24

Total Pages: 241

ISBN-13: 1524732680

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#1 NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER • From authors of Lean In and Originals: a powerful, inspiring, and practical book about building resilience and moving forward after life’s inevitable setbacks After the sudden death of her husband, Sheryl Sandberg felt certain that she and her children would never feel pure joy again. “I was in ‘the void,’” she writes, “a vast emptiness that fills your heart and lungs and restricts your ability to think or even breathe.” Her friend Adam Grant, a psychologist at Wharton, told her there are concrete steps people can take to recover and rebound from life-shattering experiences. We are not born with a fixed amount of resilience. It is a muscle that everyone can build. Option B combines Sheryl’s personal insights with Adam’s eye-opening research on finding strength in the face of adversity. Beginning with the gut-wrenching moment when she finds her husband, Dave Goldberg, collapsed on a gym floor, Sheryl opens up her heart—and her journal—to describe the acute grief and isolation she felt in the wake of his death. But Option B goes beyond Sheryl’s loss to explore how a broad range of people have overcome hardships including illness, job loss, sexual assault, natural disasters, and the violence of war. Their stories reveal the capacity of the human spirit to persevere . . . and to rediscover joy. Resilience comes from deep within us and from support outside us. Even after the most devastating events, it is possible to grow by finding deeper meaning and gaining greater appreciation in our lives. Option B illuminates how to help others in crisis, develop compassion for ourselves, raise strong children, and create resilient families, communities, and workplaces. Many of these lessons can be applied to everyday struggles, allowing us to brave whatever lies ahead. Two weeks after losing her husband, Sheryl was preparing for a father-child activity. “I want Dave,” she cried. Her friend replied, “Option A is not available,” and then promised to help her make the most of Option B. We all live some form of Option B. This book will help us all make the most of it.

Modern Loss

Author: Rebecca Soffer

Publisher: HarperCollins

Published: 2018-01-23

Total Pages: 312

ISBN-13: 006249922X

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Inspired by the website that the New York Times hailed as "redefining mourning," this book is a fresh and irreverent examination into navigating grief and resilience in the age of social media, offering comfort and community for coping with the mess of loss through candid original essays from a variety of voices, accompanied by gorgeous two-color illustrations and wry infographics. At a time when we mourn public figures and national tragedies with hashtags, where intimate posts about loss go viral and we receive automated birthday reminders for dead friends, it’s clear we are navigating new terrain without a road map. Let’s face it: most of us have always had a difficult time talking about death and sharing our grief. We’re awkward and uncertain; we avoid, ignore, or even deny feelings of sadness; we offer platitudes; we send sympathy bouquets whittled out of fruit. Enter Rebecca Soffer and Gabrielle Birkner, who can help us do better. Each having lost parents as young adults, they co-founded Modern Loss, responding to a need to change the dialogue around the messy experience of grief. Now, in this wise and often funny book, they offer the insights of the Modern Loss community to help us cry, laugh, grieve, identify, and—above all—empathize. Soffer and Birkner, along with forty guest contributors including Lucy Kalanithi, singer Amanda Palmer, and CNN’s Brian Stelter, reveal their own stories on a wide range of topics including triggers, sex, secrets, and inheritance. Accompanied by beautiful hand-drawn illustrations and witty "how to" cartoons, each contribution provides a unique perspective on loss as well as a remarkable life-affirming message. Brutally honest and inspiring, Modern Loss invites us to talk intimately and humorously about grief, helping us confront the humanity (and mortality) we all share. Beginners welcome.