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The Occasionally Accurate Annals of Football

Author: Dan Patrick

Publisher: BenBella Books

Published: 2023-09-05

Total Pages: 301

ISBN-13: 1637743696

Celebrated sports commentator Dan Patrick and comedy writer Joel H. Cohen team up with some of America’s greatest* comedy writers to tell you everything and nothing about America’s sport!** *“greatest” is actually just a bad type-o for “mediocre” **No, not darts, we mean pro football. (book on professional darts coming never) Did you know . . . Tom Brady is a very good quarterback. (True, but only according to statistics and accomplishments.) The formation of the NFL took place in an auto dealership. The founders started an institution and also were convinced to buy rust-proofing for it. (Half true.) The Carolina Panthers originated as a book club but turned to football when they couldn’t agree on which John Grisham novel to read. (Maybe true. Research isn’t our thing.) The Occasionally Accurate Annals of Football is a love letter to America’s favorite game, full of highlights, history, great plays and players, scandals, Super Bowls, and a series of lies, idiotic theories, baseless conspiracies, a diet that may kill you and, of course, a poorly-written haiku. The book takes the credibility Dan Patrick has built up over a stellar broadcast career (ESPN, NBC Sports, something called “Peacock”) and risks it all with these falsehoods, half-truths, and even some quarter-truths. This parade of inanity is co-written by Joel H. Cohen (3 Emmys, several cavities due to poor flossing) and includes contributions from certifiably hilarious people, such as: Andy Richter (Late Night with Conan O’Brien) Brian Kelley (The Simpsons, Saturday Night Live) Chuck Tatham (Modern Family, Arrested Development, How I Met Your Mother) Mike Price (The Simpsons, F is for Family) Donick Cary (Silicon Valley, New Girl) Christine Nangle (Inside Amy Schumer, Saturday Night Live) Broti Gupta (The New Yorker, The New York Times, The Simpsons) Rob Cohen (Saturday Night Live, Big Bang Theory) Illustrated in two colors (black and white are colors, right?) The Occasionally Accurate Annals of Football informs (a little), entertains (a lot), and is the perfect gift to taunt the Jets fans in your life.

The Occasionally Accurate Annals of Football

Author: Dan Patrick

Publisher: BenBella Books

Published: 2023-09-05

Total Pages: 241

ISBN-13: 1637743688

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Outtakes: Dan Patrick

Author: Dan Patrick

Publisher: Hyperion

Published: 2000-05-10

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9780786885398

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Take out the trash with Reggie Miller, ride the bus with Jerome Bettis, and get to first base with Mark Grace: some of the bestand funniestinterviews from ESPN's favorite sports authority Dan Patrick is never at a loss for words. Whether he's offering his own brand of irascible commentary on SportsCenter or taking on today's superstars in his enormously popular column in ESPN The Magazine, he always manages to offer refreshing insight that's as outrageous and entertaining as the world of sports itself. This hilarious collection of never before published "Outtakes" from his popular column features 25 interviews with some of today's most famous sports personalities, such as Mark McGwire, Wayne Gretzky, and Barry Sanders, each preceded with new and colorful introductions that offer Patrick's uncensored reflections. Dan Patrick's no-holds-barred approach to interviewing captures the players like no one can, and in this collection of new and greatest hits he is certain to win more fans than ever before.

Freezing Cold Takes: NFL

Author: Fred Segal

Publisher: Running Press Adult

Published: 2022

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9780762475452

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Football fans have an innate desire to prove the media wrong. Since he started Freezing Cold Takes in 2015, Fred Segal has witnessed the guilty pleasure in revisiting the times sports media flat-out missed the mark. There is nothing better for fans than to read an old story about how their biggest division rival made a great pick when it turned out to be terrible and unsuccessful; no greater satisfaction than looking back at a tweet condemning your team to failure when the opposite turned out to be true. This book takes the concept, focuses on the NFL, and delves into 20 predictions that did not age well -- specifically about draft picks, hiring decisions, seasons, and games that would ultimately go down in NFL history. The book will expand on the concept that's made the social accounts so popular -- through interviews with media, players, and coaches, Fred will provide important background surrounding each featured mistake to give the reader essential context as to why the ill-fated prediction was made, but also why the outlet or personality who made the prediction is eating their words. A few illustrative examples: "The Dolphins should trade quarterback Dan Marino and keep second string quarterback Scott Mitchell" (1993) "The Patriots will regret hiring Bill Belichick" (2000) "The Packers' second-round draft pick QB Brian Brohm has more upside than Aaron Rodgers" (2008)

Playmakers

Author: Mike Florio

Publisher: Public Affairs

Published: 2022-03-15

Total Pages: 288

ISBN-13: 9781541700185

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The story of a modern NFL that can't get out of its own way--and can't stop making money For almost twenty years now, the NFL has been simultaneously an athletic, financial, and cultural powerhouse--and a league that can't seem to go more than a few weeks without stumbling into a scandal. Whether it's about domestic violence, performance-enhancing drugs, racism, or head trauma, the NFL always seems to be in some kind of trouble. Yet no matter the drama, the TV networks keep showing games, the revenue keeps going up, and the viewers keep tuning in. How can a sports league--or any organization--operate this way? Why do the negative stories keep happening, and why don't they ever seem to affect the bottom line? In this wide-ranging book, Mike Florio takes readers from the boardroom to the locker room, from draft day to Super Bowl night, answering these questions and more, and showing what really goes on in the sport that America can't seem to quit. Known for his constant stream of new information and his incisive commentary, Florio delivers again in this book. With new insights and reporting on scandals past and present, this book is sure to be the talk of the league.

Jim Otto

Author: Jim Otto

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2012-07-01

Total Pages: 186

ISBN-13: 1613212720

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Jim Otto is generally reconized as one of the greatest and most durable offensive centers the game of football has ever seen. He wasn't drafted by any NFL team so he joined the Oakland Raiders of the new AFL, went on a strenth program to increase his weight by 50 pounds and became Oakland's starting center for the next 15 seasons.

Fantasy Life

Author: Matthew Berry

Publisher: Riverhead Books

Published: 2013

Total Pages: 354

ISBN-13: 1594486255

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An inside look at the world of fantasy sports from America's most trusted name in the industry. Berry explores the increasingly ubiquitious world of fantasy sports. Every year, millions of people spend their time assembling, managing and obsessing over fantasy teams.

Don't Put Me In, Coach

Author: Mark Titus

Publisher: Anchor

Published: 2013-03-12

Total Pages: 279

ISBN-13: 0307745384

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An irreverent, hilarious insider's look at big-time NCAA basketball, through the eyes of the nation's most famous benchwarmer and author of the popular blog ClubTrillion.com (3.6m visits!). Mark Titus holds the Ohio State record for career wins, and made it to the 2007 national championship game. You would think Titus would be all over the highlight reels. You'd be wrong. In 2006, Mark Titus arrived on Ohio State's campus as a former high school basketball player who aspired to be an orthopedic surgeon. Somehow, he was added to the elite Buckeye basketball team, given a scholarship, and played alongside seven future NBA players on his way to setting the record for most individual career wins in Ohio State history. Think that's impressive? In four years, he scored a grand total of nine—yes, nine—points. This book will give readers an uncensored and uproarious look inside an elite NCAA basketball program from Titus's unique perspective. In his four years at the end of the bench, Mark founded his wildly popular blog Club Trillion, became a hero to all guys picked last, and even got scouted by the Harlem Globetrotters. Mark Titus is not your average basketball star. This is a wild and completely true story of the most unlikely career in college basketball. A must-read for all fans of March Madness and college sports!

Football and Manliness

Author: Thomas P. Oates

Publisher: University of Illinois Press

Published: 2017-03-30

Total Pages: 232

ISBN-13: 0252099486

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Women, African Americans, and gays have recently upended US culture with demands for inclusion and respect, while economic changes have transformed work and daily life for millions of Americans. The national obsession with the National Football League provides a window on this dynamic period of change, reshaping ideas about manliness to respond to new urgencies on and beyond the gridiron. Thomas P. Oates uses feminist theory to break down the dynamic cultural politics shaping, and shaped by, today's NFL. As he shows, the league's wildly popular product provides an arena for media producers to work out and recalibrate the anxieties, contradictions, and challenges that characterize contemporary masculinity. Oates draws from a range of pop culture narratives to map the complex set of theories about gender and race and to reveal a league and fan base in flux. Though longing for a past dominated by white masculinity, the mediated NFL also subtly aligns with a new economic reality that demands it cope with the shifting relations of gender, race, sexuality, and class. Indeed, pro football crafts new meanings of each by its canny mobilization of historic ideological processes.

Education of a Wandering Man

Author: Louis L'Amour

Publisher: Bantam

Published: 2008-04-29

Total Pages: 240

ISBN-13: 0553899082

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From his decision to leave school at fifteen to roam the world, to his recollections of life as a hobo on the Southern Pacific Railroad, as a cattle skinner in Texas, as a merchant seaman in Singapore and the West Indies, and as an itinerant bare-knuckled prizefighter across small-town America, here is Louis L'Amour's memoir of his lifelong love affair with learning—from books, from yondering, and from some remarkable men and women—that shaped him as a storyteller and as a man. Like classic L'Amour fiction, Education of a Wandering Man mixes authentic frontier drama--such as the author's desperate efforts to survive a sudden two-day trek across the blazing Mojave desert--with true-life characters like Shanghai waterfront toughs, desert prospectors, and cowboys whom Louis L'Amour met while traveling the globe. At last, in his own words, this is a story of a one-of-a-kind life lived to the fullest . . . a life that inspired the books that will forever enable us to relive our glorious frontier heritage.