-PDF Download- The Grass Is Always Greener Over The Septic Tank EBOOK

The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank

Author: Erma Bombeck

Publisher: Open Road Media

Published: 2013-01-15

Total Pages: 199

ISBN-13: 1453290060

The “marvelously funny” and much-loved humorist explores the perils of suburban living in this New York Times bestseller (Vogue). For years, the Bombecks have heard rumors of a magical land called Suburbia where the air is clean, the grass is trimmed, and children don’t risk getting mugged on their walk to school. After watching their friends flee the city for subdivided utopias like Bonaparte’s Retreat and Mortgage Mañana, Erma and her family load up their belongings and cry, “Station wagons . . . ho!” But life on the suburban frontier is not as perfect as they had hoped. The trees are stunted, the house is cramped, and there’s no grass at all. But the Bombecks will make do, for they are suburbanites now—the last true pioneers! This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erma Bombeck including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author’s estate.

The Erma Bombeck Collection

Author: Erma Bombeck

Publisher: Open Road Media

Published: 2013-05-21

Total Pages: 513

ISBN-13: 1480430595

DOWNLOAD EBOOK →

Three hilarious books in one from the #1 New York Times–bestselling author on marriage, motherhood, and the absurdities of suburban life. If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits? is Erma Bombeck’s timelessly witty look at the hidden side of married life. Motherhood captures one of the toughest jobs on earth with humor and heart. The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank is Bombeck’s take on the unforgiving frontier of American suburbia.

If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?

Author: Erma Bombeck

Publisher: Open Road Media

Published: 2013-01-15

Total Pages: 178

ISBN-13: 1453290109

DOWNLOAD EBOOK →

The hilarious #1 New York Times bestseller: Erma Bombeck’s take on marriage and family life is “fun from cover to cover” (Hartford Courant). Ever since she was a child, Er ma Bombeck has been an expert worrier, and married life has only honed that skill. She gets anxious about running out of ball bearings; about snakes sneaking in through the pipes; about making meaningful conversation on New Year’s Eve. Married life, she realizes, is an unpredictable saga even when you know exactly how loud your husband snores every night—and she wouldn’t have it any other way. In this crisp collection of essays, Bombeck shows off the irresistible style that made her one of America’s favorite humorists for more than three decades. When she sharpens her wit, no family member is sacred and no self-help fad is safe. This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erma Bombeck including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author’s estate.

At Wit's End

Author: Erma Bombeck

Publisher: Fawcett

Published: 2011-02-02

Total Pages: 225

ISBN-13: 030777824X

DOWNLOAD EBOOK →

"America's irrepressible doyenne of domestic satire." THE BOSTON GLOBE Madcap, bittersweet humor in classic Erma Bombeck-style. You'll laugh until it hurts and love it! "Any mother with half a skull knows that when Daddy's little boy becomes Mommy's little boy, the kid is so wet, he's treading water. What do you mean you're a participle in the school play and you need a costume? Those rotten kids. If only they'd let me wake up in my own way. Why do they have to line up along my bed and stare at me like Moby Dick just washed up onto a beach somewhere?"

Four of a Kind

Author: Erma Bombeck

Publisher: Galahad Books

Published: 1996-10

Total Pages: 632

ISBN-13: 9780883659595

DOWNLOAD EBOOK →

The grass is always greener over the septic tank; If life is a bowl of cherries, what am I doing in the pits?; Aunt Erma's cope book; Motherhood: the second oldest profession.

Aunt Erma's Cope Book

Author: Erma Bombeck

Publisher: Open Road Media

Published: 2013-01-15

Total Pages: 183

ISBN-13: 1453290079

DOWNLOAD EBOOK →

The #1 New York Times bestseller about one woman’s doomed quest for self-improvement by a writer “blessed with the comic equivalent of perfect pitch” (The Boston Globe). As far as Erma can tell, her life is going well. Her children speak to her, her husband smiles at her, and she’s capable of looking in a mirror without screaming. But her friends know better. No matter how happy Erma thinks she is, she’s in need of help, and the only way to fulfillment is a ten-foot stack of self-improvement books. From Sensual Needlepoint to Fear of Buying, Erma will try them all. One book recommends bringing roleplay into the bedroom, so she dresses up in her son’s football pads. She tries to meditate but gets stuck in the lotus position. She spends more time in the kitchen but only succeeds in melting her son’s retainer. No matter how hard she tries to improve her family life, her schemes keep backfiring. As she soon learns, you may not always be able to fix what’s not broken—but with enough self-help books, you can break anything you want. This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erma Bombeck including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author’s estate.

The Grammar Bible

Author: Michael Strumpf

Publisher: Macmillan

Published: 2004-07-15

Total Pages: 516

ISBN-13: 9780805075601

DOWNLOAD EBOOK →

For more than a quarter of a century, as the creator and proprietor of the National Grammar Hot Line, Michael Strumpf helped thousands of callers from every corner of the globe tackle the thorniest issues of English grammar. In The Grammar Bible, he answers the most common, the most insightful, and the funniest questions asked of him by students, editors, lawyers, doctors, and writers of all stripes. Professor Strumpf's unique question-and-answer sections follow concise but thorough explanations of the various elements of good grammar, from parts of speech to types of sentences; together, they comprise the ideal primer on speech and writing, showing readers how to express themselves more impressively. Whether you need a comprehensive review of the subjunctive mood or simply want to know which form of a verb to use, The Grammar Bible is a practical handbook that will enlighten, educate, and entertain you.

When You Look Like Your Passport Photo, It's Time to Go Home

Author: Erma Bombeck

Publisher:

Published: 1993-05-01

Total Pages:

ISBN-13: 9780517105283

DOWNLOAD EBOOK →

Motherhood

Author: Erma Bombeck

Publisher: Open Road Media

Published: 2013-01-15

Total Pages: 218

ISBN-13: 1453290087

DOWNLOAD EBOOK →

#1 New York Times bestseller:A hilarious look at one of the toughest jobs on earth, by a writer “with the comic equivalent of perfect pitch” (The Boston Globe). Anyone who thinks motherhood is easy has never had children. To care for children, a husband, and oneself is a superhuman task, and any woman who appears to be expert at doing all three simultaneously is not Supermom—she’s a good actress. For three decades, Erma Bombeck chronicled motherhood’s daily frustrations and victories. In this classic anthology, she presents all sorts of mothers, and even a stay-at-home dad, on good days and bad. With hilarious anecdotes and deep compassion, she shows that there is no other profession that demands so much, and rewards so highly. This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erma Bombeck including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author’s estate.

Eat Less Cottage Cheese and More Ice Cream

Author: Erma Bombeck

Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published: 2003-04-02

Total Pages: 56

ISBN-13: 9780740721274

DOWNLOAD EBOOK →

In 1979, someone asked humorist Erma Bombeck, "If you had your life to live over, would you change anything'" Her immediate answer was no, but once she thought about it, she changed her mind. The result was a classic column full of Bombeck"s signature wit and warmth. Now the beloved column that has hung on hundreds of refrigerator doors has been cheerily illustrated and designed as a handsome gift book, Eat Less Cottage and More Ice Cream. In it, Bombeck gently reminds us of what is really important in life:"If I had my life to live over again I would have waxed less and listened more."I would have cried and laughed less while watching television . . . and more while watching real life."But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute of it . . . look at it and really see it . . . try it on . . . live it . . . exhaust it . . . and never give that minute back until there was nothing left of it. . . . "Long-time fans of Erma Bombeck will be thrilled to have this favorite column in the form of a beautiful keepsake. Readers discovering Bombeck for the first time will become fans instantly. Eat Less Cottage and More Ice Cream offers wisdom to inspire all of us.