5,000 Great One Liners

5,000 Great One Liners PDF

Author: Grant Tucker

Publisher: Biteback Publishing

Published: 2012-09-25

Total Pages: 355

ISBN-13: 1849544824

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My mate told me that I just don't understand irony. Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. An onion just told me a joke. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. A priest, a rabbi and a blind man walk into a bar and the bartender says, 'What is this, some kind of joke?' I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller. I'll never forget what my granddad said to me just before he kicked the bucket. He said, 'Grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?' Whether told in the rugby clubs of Wales or the gentlemen's clubs of London, their sharpness and simplicity unites us all. Short, sweet and wickedly clever, they hold a special place in the annals of comedy, and as the Twitter age heralds a resurrection of the art form, there seems no better time to celebrate the immortal one-liner. In this riveting read, Times diary columnist Grant Tucker does just that, bringing together 5,000 of the funniest one-liners ever told in one definitive volume. Laugh-out-loud funny, 5,000 Great One-Liners has all the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you'll ever need - and a whole lot more.

The Mammoth Book of One-Liners

The Mammoth Book of One-Liners PDF

Author: Geoff Tibballs

Publisher: Robinson

Published: 2012-06-07

Total Pages: 607

ISBN-13: 1780335369

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A collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.' 'Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.' 'I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'

The Book of Witty One-Liners

The Book of Witty One-Liners PDF

Author: Manhardeep Singh

Publisher: Independently Published

Published: 2020-07-23

Total Pages: 163

ISBN-13:

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Would you like to be the smartest person in the room? These 1000 one-liners will make you the wittiest one people have ever met. The Book of Witty One-liners can: * Help you break the ice in any situation * Make you look the sharpest * Project you as the funniest * Attract people through your continuous one-liners * Give you a happy time reading them The Book of Witty One-liners is the p(h)unniest, wittiest, and the most hilarious compilation of one-liners that is sure to get your gut-busting. If you like to laugh your way to hilarity, have endless one-liners up your sleeve, then you'll love Manhardeep Singh's one-liners book. Buy The Book of Witty One-liners and have a hearty laugh!

Gagged and Bound

Gagged and Bound PDF

Author: Nick Jones

Publisher: Full Media Ltd

Published: 2015-06-15

Total Pages: 133

ISBN-13: 0993079431

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Gagged and Bound is a riotous, rapid-fire collection of over 500 original gags written by pun-loving jokesmith Nick Jones. With a mixture of witty one-liners, playful puns and dubious dad jokes, coupled with some great visual gags illustrated by Tiffany Sheely, Gagged and Bound will leave you grinning like a maniac – so probably best not to read it while travelling on public transport. "It’s what it says on the tin: a succession of one-liners, puns and dad jokes going at your laughing muscles in a joyously pell-mell, headlong way. It’s irresistible." - The Bookbag "I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a joke book that’s varied and full of easy one-liners." - Reader’s Favorite "This is a very funny book" - Red City Review Jokes include: When I’m in the kitchen with my wife and I ask her for the sieve, she always throws it at me. She’s pass-sieve aggressive. What happens when herbs get into debt? They receive a visit from the bay leaf. Every dog has its day. It’s called International Dog Day. I’ve written a self-help book for people trying to lose weight but it hasn’t been very successful. It’s called Help Yourself.

The Gigantic Joke Book

The Gigantic Joke Book PDF

Author: Joseph Rosenbloom

Publisher: Sterling Publishing Company, Inc.

Published: 1978

Total Pages: 260

ISBN-13: 9780806975146

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Over 1,000 jokes, 96 drawings. Index. "Gr.4-6. A gigantic compendium of rib-tickling, giggle-inspiring one liners, puns, funny stories, put-downs...Clever and witty."--SLJ. "True kid appeal."--Learning. 256 pages, b/w illus. throughout, 5 3/8 x 8 1/4.

The Best Joke Book (Period)

The Best Joke Book (Period) PDF

Author: William Donohue

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2014-11

Total Pages: 208

ISBN-13: 1440583099

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Discover hundreds of jokes for every occasion! Why was the limbo dancer shocked when his wallet was stolen right out of his back pocket? Because he didn't think anyone could stoop so low. The ultimate collection of the world’s greatest funnies, The Best Joke Book (Period) keeps you laughing for hours on end. Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment. So whether you’re looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!

5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners

5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners PDF

Author:

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2013-11-01

Total Pages: 312

ISBN-13: 1628734205

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“I’ll never forget the words my granddad said before he kicked the bucket. He said ‘Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.’” “The key to any marriage is spontaneity. You’ve got to be ready to leave at any time.” Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tucker’s volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call “one-liners.” Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grant’s collection and the immortal one-liner. Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for—and many you’d never dream of asking for. “My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.” “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” “Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!” “Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.” “Schizophrenia—together I can beat it.” “Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: ‘Narcotics, five letters.’”