The Best Ever Book of Christmas Islander Jokes

The Best Ever Book of Christmas Islander Jokes PDF

Author: Mark Geoffrey Young

Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub

Published: 2012-09-28

Total Pages: 106

ISBN-13: 9781478349327

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If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Libyan, Catholic, Irish, Mexican, Polish, Belgian, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Christmas Islander jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Christmas Islander Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Christmas Islander Jokes is so unoriginal; it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Christmas Islander joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Christmas Islander jokes; you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Christmas Islanders wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Christmas Islander and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Christmas Islander brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Christmas Islander who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Christmas Islanders laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

Laugh It Up!

Laugh It Up! PDF

Author: Highlights

Publisher: Highlights

Published: 2013

Total Pages: 257

ISBN-13: 1620910713

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"If you think this joke is funny, wait till your open this book. Inside you'll find more than 400 goofy jokes, riddles, and cartoons guaranteed to cause a fit of the funnies!"--Back cover.

The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Christmas Islanders

The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Christmas Islanders PDF

Author: Mark Young

Publisher: CreateSpace

Published: 2013-05-09

Total Pages: 106

ISBN-13: 9781484826355

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If you're looking to gain respect from your employees, increase your income and get more out of your friends, for you, The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Christmas Islanders is the book you're looking for. While The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Christmas Islanders appears to be parody of motivational books, many employers have used this book to get their employees to work harder and increase their standing in the community. Rather than showing you ways to motivate your employees so they'll want to work harder, this book show you how to use fear and intimidation to MAKE them work harder, and ensure that your friends give you the respect you think you deserve. Some of the ways you can use demotivation to get what you want include: *** Every Christmas Islander knows that meetings are a complete waste of time. Make yourself more efficient by turning up at every meeting fifteen minutes late, leaving early, and popping in and out while it's in progress. *** Maintain the distance between yourself, the Christmas Islander, and your friends by never smiling or saying hello to anybody. While this may appear rude, it's better than having to deal with their problems. *** Nobody gets a better deal at restaurants than Christmas Islanders. Before dividing up the bill, calculate your share and work out if it's cheaper to split the bill evenly, or for everybody to pay their own share. Do this every time to save the maximum amount possible. *** Install phones in every bathroom stall and above the urinals so your employees can continue working while they do their business. ***

How to Survive on a Deserted Island

How to Survive on a Deserted Island PDF

Author: Tim O'Shei

Publisher: Capstone

Published: 2009

Total Pages: 32

ISBN-13: 1429622822

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If a shipwreck or a plane crash lands you on a deserted island, you might think your troubles are over. Think again! How to Survive on a Deserted Island will tell you how to find drinkable water, catch food, and signal rescuers that you need help.

That Reminds Me: Finding the Funny in a Serious World

That Reminds Me: Finding the Funny in a Serious World PDF

Author: Michael Close

Publisher: Lulu.com

Published: 2012-12-01

Total Pages: 220

ISBN-13: 1435706463

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Michael Close is an inveterate joke teller whose stories have brought gales of laughter from audiences around the world. For more than twenty years, Michael's friends and colleagues have eagerly awaited a collection of jokes from his enormous repertoire. "That Reminds Me" is that compilation - more than 250 of the best clean (and not so clean) jokes you've ever read. But this is much more than a joke book. Michael shares heartfelt reminiscences of the funny people who have enriched his life, stories of crazy personal experiences, and thoughts on the importance of "finding the funny" in your own life. This is the perfect book for anyone who needs a good laugh. Foreword by Penn Jillette [The jokes in this collection range from squeaky clean to R-rated. Words that you can't use on network television appear occasionally. If such language offends you, please don't purchase this book.]

We Want Fish Sticks

We Want Fish Sticks PDF

Author: Nicholas Hirshon

Publisher: University of Nebraska Press

Published: 2018-12-01

Total Pages: 311

ISBN-13: 1496206533

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The NHL’s New York Islanders were struggling. After winning four straight Stanley Cups in the early 1980s, the Islanders had suffered an embarrassing sweep by their geographic rivals, the New York Rangers, in the first round of the 1994 playoffs. Hoping for a new start, the Islanders swapped out their distinctive logo, which featured the letters NY and a map of Long Island, for a cartoon fisherman wearing a rain slicker and gripping a hockey stick. The new logo immediately drew comparisons to the mascot for Gorton’s frozen seafood, and opposing fans taunted the team with chants of “We want fish sticks!” During a rebranding process that lasted three torturous seasons, the Islanders unveiled a new mascot, new uniforms, new players, a new coach, and a new owner that were supposed to signal a return to championship glory. Instead, the team and its fans endured a twenty-eight-month span more humiliating than what most franchises witness over twenty-eight years. The Islanders thought they had traded for a star player to inaugurate the fisherman era, but he initially refused to report and sulked until the general manager banished him. Fans beat up the new mascot in the stands. The new coach shoved and spit at players. The Islanders were sold to a supposed billionaire who promised to buy elite players; he turned out to be a con artist and was sent to prison. We Want Fish Sticks examines this era through period sources and interviews with the people who lived it.

The Knights Before Christmas

The Knights Before Christmas PDF

Author: Joan Holub

Publisher: Macmillan

Published: 2015-09-08

Total Pages: 34

ISBN-13: 0805099328

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"'Twas December 24th, and three brave knights were just settling in for the night when out on the drawbridge, there arose such a clatter! The knights try everything to get rid of this unknown invader (Santa Claus!), a red and white knight with a fleet of dragons"--

It's Snow Joke!

It's Snow Joke! PDF

Author: Nancy E. Krulik

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2006

Total Pages: 84

ISBN-13: 9780448443966

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While spending winter break at a ski lodge, beginning-skier Katie finds herself in some very complicated situations when the magic wind turns her into the ski instructor.

The Indoor Pirates On Treasure Island

The Indoor Pirates On Treasure Island PDF

Author: Jeremy Strong

Publisher: Penguin UK

Published: 2009-01-01

Total Pages: 96

ISBN-13: 0141908947

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Captain Blackpatch has bought a pirate truck to take the pirates on a camping holiday. Once there he becomes convinced that treasure is buried on a small island.