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Author: Ross Petras
Publisher: Main Street Books
Published: 2010-12-08
Total Pages: 242
ISBN-13: 0307764621
DOWNLOAD EBOOK →A connoisseur's compendium of Freudian slips, spoonerisms, double-talk, and utter bosh from famous and infamous figures past and present -- a complete course in anti-eloquence by the foot-in-mouth champions of all time.
Author: Ross Petras
Publisher: Harper Collins
Published: 1994-05-07
Total Pages: 244
ISBN-13: 0060950595
DOWNLOAD EBOOK →For the many readers still laughing from The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said, here are 776 even stupider quotes overheard around the world.
Author: Kathryn Petras
Publisher: Villard
Published: 2007-12-18
Total Pages: 305
ISBN-13: 0307417611
DOWNLOAD EBOOK →A hilarious collection of lists, statistics, news items, quotations, and facts detailing stupid acts of Americans from all walks of life—by the authors of the bestselling The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said Everyone knows that America is “the land of the free and the home of the brave,” but sometimes that means we’re free to be as bravely stupid as we want! In Unusually Stupid Americans, Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras assemble choice bits of stupidity, U.S.A.-style, including •the top seriously flawed American advertising moments, including Pacific Airlines’ brilliant “You’re scared of flying? So’s our pilot!” ad campaign, which led the airline to bankruptcy within two months of the campaign’s inception •the Martin Luther King, Jr., celebration in Florida, where a plaque was un-veiled that was intended to honor the actor James Earl Jones but instead read, “Thank you James Earl Ray for keeping the dream alive” (an unfortunate slip-up, as James Earl Ray was King’s assassin) •and much more!
Author: Kathryn Petras
Publisher: Villard
Published: 2011-07-06
Total Pages: 231
ISBN-13: 0307800954
DOWNLOAD EBOOK →The creme de la crud of screen history "War! War! That's all you think of, Dick Plantagenet! You burner! You pillager!" --Virginia Mayo as Lady Edith to George Sanders in King Richard and the Crusaders (1954) "Visits? That would indicate visitors." --Army captain learning of alien visits in Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) "When I'm sitting here with you, I don't even think about the slime people." --Hero to heroine in The Slime People (1962) "Suck the coffin mushroom now." --The Ultimate Vampire (1991) "This is bad." --Leonardo DiCaprio as the you-know-what hits the you-know-what in Titanic (1997)
Author: Kathryn Petras
Publisher: Workman Publishing
Published: 2011-01-01
Total Pages: 242
ISBN-13: 0761165916
DOWNLOAD EBOOK →Presents a series of humorous lists on such topics as things to say to an alien, least complimentary compliments, and impossible-to-follow instructions.
Author: Ross Petras
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Published: 1999
Total Pages: 292
ISBN-13: 0671040537
DOWNLOAD EBOOK →...A nonpartisan hall of shame featuring the idiotic utterances, ridiculous slogans, mixed metaphors, and lame excuses that have fallen from the mouths of our fearless leaders around the world, and from the present and past (because stupidity knows no age).
Author: Kathryn Petras
Publisher: Vintage
Published: 1997-03-25
Total Pages: 145
ISBN-13: 0679776222
DOWNLOAD EBOOK →Writing very bad poetry requires talent. It helps to have a wooden ear for words, a penchant for sinking into a mire of sentimentality, and an enviable confidence that allows one to write despite absolutely appalling incompetence. The 131 poems collected in this first-of-its-kind anthology are so glaringly awful that they embody a kind of genius. From Fred Emerson Brooks' "The Stuttering Lover" to Matthew Green's "The Spleen" to Georgia Bailey Parrington's misguided "An Elegy to a Dissected Puppy", they mangle meter, run rampant over rhyme, and bludgeon us into insensibility with their grandiosity, anticlimax, and malapropism. Guaranteed to move even the most stoic reader to tears (of laughter), Very Bad Poetry is sure to become a favorite of the poetically inclined (and disinclined).
Author: Ross Petras
Publisher: Main Street Books
Published: 1996
Total Pages: 212
ISBN-13: 9780385483414
DOWNLOAD EBOOK →From the authors of The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said comes a sidesplitting collection of inane incidents, senseless stunts, farcical feats, and utterly asinine activities from thoughout history and around the globe. A nonstop barrage of belly laughs, this comic compendium offers conclusive proof that actions speak louder--and funnier--than words.
Author: A.J. Adams
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Published: 2009-12-22
Total Pages: 258
ISBN-13: 0740797794
DOWNLOAD EBOOK →Service workers share their funniest and most cringeworthy stories of difficult, demanding, and just plain mind-boggling encounters with the public . . . “Ma’am, the rules clearly state that you cannot have any liquids over 3.4 ounces in your carry-on. If you’d like to, you could—” “But that’s not a liquid!” “Excuse me, ma’am?” “It’s not a liquid! It’s water!” Retailers, restaurants, and tech support providers believe service is king, but in The Customer Is Not Always Right, A.J. Adams proves that customers will do anything they can to put that motto to the test. Enjoy tales from the creator of the popular website Not Always Right, including half that are previously unpublished, showcasing customer-relations horror stories everyone can relate to. No matter what side of the counter you’re on, there are hilarious accounts about everything that can go wrong between the customer and retail or service provider. Whether it's a confrontation in the drive-through over not enough fries or arguing over a one-cent price difference on milk, this book proves the principle of “the customer is always right” can be dead wrong.
Author: Ross Petras
Publisher: Main Street Books
Published: 2011-11-09
Total Pages: 177
ISBN-13: 0307799360
DOWNLOAD EBOOK →*Too lazy to drive to his girlfriend's house, a man ties helium balloons to a lawn chair--and ends up at 15,000 feet, closing the L. A. airport. *A Chinese contraception program causes the birth rate to rise when men are discovered taking birth control pills and unrolling condoms over their fingers--exactly as shown in the training film. *A gang of Norwegian thieves carefully uses explosives to open a safe--only to find the safe is filled with dynamite. . . In the national bestseller The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said--over 200,000 copies in print--Ross and Kathryn Petras immortalized idiotic utterances by public figures and average citizens alike. But what about the doers out there, the people who didn't stop at speaking, but went right out and did something stupid instead? It's time to give credit where credit is due. The 176 Stupidest Things Ever Done is a hilarious collection of inane incidents, senseless stunts, farcical feats, and utterly asinine activities from throughout history, and around the globe. From Sam Goldwyn to Walter Mondale, Albert Einstein to Fabio, the board of General Motors to British Parliament, this comic compendium chronicles the stupidest acts, ideas, decisions, inventions, songs, and ad campaigns that the mind of modern man has been able to devise. The 176 Stupidest Things Ever Done is a non-stop barrage of belly laughs, conclusive proof that actions speak louder--and funnier--than words.
