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Should've Gone Tae Speavers, Ref!

Author: Allan Morrison

Publisher: Luath Press Ltd

Published: 2013-10-31

Total Pages: 136

ISBN-13: 1909912646

The referee. You can't have a game without one. The most hated man (or woman) in football but you have to invite one to every game. Enjoy a laugh at the anti and wicked humour of Scottish referee Big Erchie, a powerhouse at five foot five, and a top grade referee who strikes fear into he hearts of managers and players alike as he stringently applies the laws of the game. But Big Erchie is burdened with a terrible secret... He's a Stirling Albion supporter. EXCERPT: A booking by Big Erchie is a painstaking ritual for both player and referee as he calmly and prosaically enters the name of the offender in his book with the care of a monk drawing an illustrated letter, while at the same time gutting and filleting the culprit in a voice reminiscent of an acetylene torch set on full heat. Alas, on occasion, a frustrating petulant demonstration of power causes him to show a red card when a yellow would probably have suffice. Deep in his bosom, Big Erchie is consumed by a loathing of simulation, especially diving in the box. 'Some of that lot should get an Oscar nomination thrown in with their red card,' he continually moans. His trademark waving of his arms accompanied by a snort and roll of the eye suggests that, for some players, bringing back the birch would not be inappropriate.

More Than a Game

Author: Archie Macpherson

Publisher: Luath Press Ltd

Published: 2020-05-03

Total Pages: 292

ISBN-13: 1912387999

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'This is like a scene from Apocalypse Now' Archie Macpherson examines the story of football's most explosive rivalry - Celtic v Rangers. In this book he centres on the infamous riot at the Old Firm Scottish Cup Final at Hampden on 10 May 1980, at which he was the match commentator, and which resulted in the banning of alcohol in football grounds. He explores his memories of the many clashes between the two clubs over his half-century broadcasting career. This leads him inevitably to the sources of the sectarianism which has characterised this fixture and the West of Scotland. He weaves his experiences, and those of others, into the complex tapestry of social issues and club loyalties and takes us through the wider political context: World War II, the invisible hand of Margaret Thatcher and Scotland's independence referendum. This vitriolic conflict is more than a game. It is a kaleidoscope of bitter dispute, and occasional violence, and Archie Macpherson provides a colourful insight into how it was to live with the Old Firm for over five decades.

The Herald Diary 2014

Author: Ken Smith

Publisher: Black & White Publishing

Published: 2014-10-14

Total Pages: 233

ISBN-13: 1845029445

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It's a memorable year in Scotland. The country will vote on independence, Glasgow will welcome the world to the Commonwealth Games, and the world's best golfers battle it out in the Ryder Cup on Scottish soil. Meanwhile, Scots do what they always do - eat and drink too much, complain about the weather and, fortunately, have a laugh about it. Their tales of the funniest events will be sent to The Herald newspaper's iconic Diary column, and the best of them are gathered here.

Barcelona to Buckie Thistle

Author: Mat Guy

Publisher: Luath Press Ltd

Published: 2020-04-22

Total Pages: 263

ISBN-13: 1912387832

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Mat Guy continues his exploration of the much loved (and much hated) sport of football. From Barcelona to Buckie Thistle he takes us on a journey across the globe. The only connection all these places have is that they host some of least known football teams in the world. This is Guy's ode to football. He looks at the grassroots movement on the grass itself; it takes the love of this sport to a different level. Guy does not focus on the celebrity teams with millions behind them, but at the real heart and soul of football.

Kerryoans up the Clyde!

Author: Allan Morrison

Publisher: Luath Press Ltd

Published: 2021-11-15

Total Pages: 138

ISBN-13: 1804250732

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'If the Waverley sank right now and I wanted to swim to the nearest land, how far would that be?' 'About a hundred yards, sur.' 'Amazing. Which way?' 'Down!' True 'Glesca' humour and history combined, Kerryoans up the Clyde! recounts the adventures of a vessel full of character with a captain to match: Morrison's Waverley and 'Big Lizzie' are each as formidable and inalienably Scottish as the other. Morrison captures the charmingly unique spirit of the last of the Clyde's paddle steamers as well as the facts of its history. Full of playful tales, many a chuckle and the quirky illustrations of Bob Dewar, you're sure to find something that floats your boat!

Naw First Minister!

Author: Allan Morrison

Publisher: Luath Press Ltd

Published: 2015-11-01

Total Pages: 156

ISBN-13: 191032471X

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With no party having a majority it was decided the position of First Minister should go to neutral, AGSTLO (Ah m Gonnae Sort This Lot Oot party) MSP, Big Nellie Nellis, a controversial imposing lady with the relics of beauty still on her face, unapologetically long legs which look as though they could stretch into different time zones, and bosoms requiring their own postal codes. Her over-bearing appearance and vibrancy, assisted by a continually refilled hip flask of single malt, make her formidable to all and sundry. Forget Mrs Thatcher, Mrs Merkel, Mrs Gillard, Mrs Meir and Ms Sturgeon. These women were absolute softies compared to Big Nellie. When Big Nellie Nellis bounds into Scottish politics after a fish supper and a cockup too far, her brash reason wins an electorate weary of the pointless jabbering of a divided Parliament. However, shaking up the status quo of Holyrood sets some slippery MSPs delving into Nellie s past to uncover the truth about Scotland s least likely political leader.

'Goannae No Dae That!'

Author: Allan Morrison

Publisher: Luath Press Ltd

Published: 2014-11-28

Total Pages: 181

ISBN-13: 1910324361

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The Scots have a unique way of communicating their feelings. Their sayings are cheeky, to the point, rude and always funny. Scotland's bestselling humour author is back with his latest collection of hilarious Scottish sayings.'Away an' bile yer heid an' mak silly soup!'That wan's in everything but the Co-operative windae!''If ah had your money ah wid burn ma ain''Ye've goat a heid oan ye like a stair-heid''The gemme's a bogie''Yer cruisin' fur a bruisin'''Ah'm that hungry ah could eat a scabbie-heided horse''Castor oil cures everythin' but a widden leg''Wan minute yer a peacock an' the next yer a feather duster''Yer talkin' mince withoot a tattie in sight''Lang may yer lum reek, an' may a wee moose never leave yer kitchen press wi' a tear in its ee''Yer herr's mingin', hingin' an' clingin''From the infallible wisdom of the Glesca Granny, to the hilarious patter of larger-than-life conductress Big Aggie MacDonald, Allan Morrison has a sharp eye and a silver tongue when it comes to observational humour.SCOTLAND ON SUNDAY on Haud Ma Chips, Ah've Drapped the Wean!

The Wisdom of Sally Red Shoes

Author: Ruth Hogan

Publisher: Crooked Lane Books

Published: 2019-06-11

Total Pages: 320

ISBN-13: 1643852108

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Ruth Hogan, the international bestselling author behind the The Keeper of Lost Things returns with an irresistible novel of unexpected friendships, second chances—and dark secrets... They say friends make life worth living... Once a spirited, independent woman with a rebellious streak, Masha's life was forever changed by a tragic event twelve years ago. Unable to let go of her grief, she finds comfort in her faithful canine companion Haizum, and peace in the quiet lanes of her town's swimming pool. Almost without her realizing it, her life has shuddered to a halt. It’s only when Masha begins an unlikely friendship with the mysterious Sally Red Shoes, a bag lady with a prodigious voice and a penchant for saying just what she means, that a new world of possibilities opens up: new friendships, new opportunities, and even a chance for new love. For the first time in years, Masha has the chance to start living again. But just as Masha dares to imagine the future, her past comes roaring back... Like her beloved debut, The Keeper of Lost Things, Ruth Hogan's second novel introduces a cast of wonderful characters, both ordinary and charmingly eccentric, who lead us through a moving exploration of the simple human connections that unite us all.

Essentially Bruce Greenwood: Actor Musician

Author: Mila Hasan

Publisher: Lulu.com

Published: 2016-03-12

Total Pages: 170

ISBN-13: 1326589091

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An informal book written in an informal style glancing over Bruce Greenwood's career thus far, which contains an overview of some of his movies and TV shows, quotes from interviews and a comprehensive biography.

Lifesaving for Beginners

Author: Ciara Geraghty

Publisher: Hodder & Stoughton

Published: 2012-09-27

Total Pages: 572

ISBN-13: 1848944861

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Kat Kavanagh is not in love. She has lots of friends, an ordinary job, and she never ever thinks about her past. This is Kat's story. None of it is true. Milo McIntyre loves his mam, the peanut-butter-and-banana muffins at the Funky Banana cafe, and the lifesaving class he does after school. He never thinks about his future, until the day it changes forever. This is Milo's story. All of it is true. And then there is the other story. The one with a twist of fate which somehow brings together a boy from Brighton and a woman in Dublin, and uncovers the truth once and for all. This is the story that's just about to begin . . .