Literary Lapses

Literary Lapses PDF

Author: Stephen Leacock

Publisher:

Published: 1918

Total Pages: 256

ISBN-13:

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My financial career.-- Lord Oxhead's secret.-- Boarding-house geometry.-- The awful fate of Melpomenus Jones.-- A Christmas letter.-- How to make a million dollars.-- How to live to be 200.-- How to avoid getting married.-- How to be a doctor.-- The new food.-- A new pathology.-- The poet answered.-- The force of statistics.-- Men who have shaved me.-- Getting the thread of it.-- Telling his faults.-- Winter pastimes.-- Number fifty-six.--Aristocratic education.-- The conjurer's revenge.-- Hints to travellers.-- A manual of education.-- Hoodoo McFiggin's Christmas.-- The life of John Smith.--On collecting things.-- Society chit-chat.-- Insurance up to-date.-- Borrowing a match.-- A lesson in fiction.-- Helping the Armenians.-- A study in still life, the country hotel.-- An experiment with Policeman Hogan.-- The passing of the poet.-- Self-made men.-- A model dialogue.-- Bach to the bush.--Reflections on riding.-- Saloonio.-- Half-hours with the poets: Mr. Wordsworth and the cottage girl; How Tennyson killed the May queen; Old Mr. Longfellow on board the Hesperus. --A, B, and C.

Literary Lapses

Literary Lapses PDF

Author: Stephen Leacock

Publisher: CreateSpace

Published: 2014-04

Total Pages: 78

ISBN-13: 9781497544963

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My Financial Career When I go into a bank I get rattled. The clerks rattle me; the wickets rattle me; the sight of the money rattles me; everything rattles me. The moment I cross the threshold of a bank and attempt to transact business there, I become an irresponsible idiot. I knew this beforehand, but my salary had been raised to fifty dollars a month and I felt that the bank was the only place for it. So I shambled in and looked timidly round at the clerks. I had an idea that a person about to open an account must needs consult the manager. I went up to a wicket marked "Accountant." The accountant was a tall, cool devil. The very sight of him rattled me. My voice was sepulchral. "Can I see the manager?" I said, and added solemnly, "alone." I don't know why I said "alone." "Certainly," said the accountant, and fetched him. The manager was a grave, calm man. I held my fifty-six dollars clutched in a crumpled ball in my pocket. "Are you the manager?" I said. God knows I didn't doubt it. "Yes," he said. "Can I see you," I asked, "alone?" I didn't want to say "alone" again, but without it the thing seemed self-evident. The manager looked at me in some alarm. He felt that I had an awful secret to reveal. "Come in here," he said, and led the way to a private room. He turned the key in the lock.

Our Literary Lapses

Our Literary Lapses PDF

Author: The Mariposa Writers' Group

Publisher: AuthorHouse

Published: 2009-12

Total Pages: 160

ISBN-13: 1449059082

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Our Literary Lapses is a compelling collection of stories and poems written by seventeen authors, all members of the Mariposa Writers' Group, based in Orillia, Ontario. With incredible skill they have woven tales of fantasy and fact and as we turn the pages we find ourselves transported from a hospital delivery room to dancing at a community hall to surviving in the wilderness, and much, much more!

Literary Lapses (Classic Reprint)

Literary Lapses (Classic Reprint) PDF

Author: Stephen Leacock

Publisher:

Published: 2015-07-12

Total Pages: 252

ISBN-13: 9781331266921

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Excerpt from Literary Lapses When I go into a bank I get rattled. The clerks rattle me; the wickets rattle me; the sight of the money rattles me; everything rattles me. The moment I cross the threshold of a bank and attempt to transact business there, I become an irresponsible idiot. I knew this beforehand, but my salary had been raised to fifty dollars a month and I felt that the bank was the only place for it. So I shambled in and looked timidly round at the clerks. I had an idea that a person about to open an account must needs consult the manager. I went up to a wicket marked "Accountant." The accountant was a tall, cool devil. The very sight of him rattled me. My voice was sepulchral. "Can I see the manager?" About the Publisher Forgotten Books publishes hundreds of thousands of rare and classic books. Find more at www.forgottenbooks.com This book is a reproduction of an important historical work. Forgotten Books uses state-of-the-art technology to digitally reconstruct the work, preserving the original format whilst repairing imperfections present in the aged copy. In rare cases, an imperfection in the original, such as a blemish or missing page, may be replicated in our edition. We do, however, repair the vast majority of imperfections successfully; any imperfections that remain are intentionally left to preserve the state of such historical works.

Literary Lapses

Literary Lapses PDF

Author: Stephen Leacock

Publisher: New Canadian Library

Published: 1989

Total Pages: 172

ISBN-13:

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The humour, irony, and wit of Stephen Leacock have never been shown to better advantage than in Literary Lapses, his first collection of comic writings. Within its pages are such classic stories as the man who is seized by fear as he opens a bank account; the awful case of the young man who dies because he cannot tell a lie; the astonishing tale of the baby who ate thirteen Christmas dinners, and many other tales that have become part of the world's comic literature. When Literary Lapses first appeared in 1910, it was an instant critical and popular success. Within a few years of its publication, Leacock was acknowledged as the English-speaking world’s most beloved humourist.

LITERARY LAPSES

LITERARY LAPSES PDF

Author: Stephen 1869-1944 Leacock

Publisher: Wentworth Press

Published: 2016-08-29

Total Pages: 262

ISBN-13: 9781373864185

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This work has been selected by scholars as being culturally important, and is part of the knowledge base of civilization as we know it. This work was reproduced from the original artifact, and remains as true to the original work as possible. Therefore, you will see the original copyright references, library stamps (as most of these works have been housed in our most important libraries around the world), and other notations in the work. This work is in the public domain in the United States of America, and possibly other nations. Within the United States, you may freely copy and distribute this work, as no entity (individual or corporate) has a copyright on the body of the work. As a reproduction of a historical artifact, this work may contain missing or blurred pages, poor pictures, errant marks, etc. Scholars believe, and we concur, that this work is important enough to be preserved, reproduced, and made generally available to the public. We appreciate your support of the preservation process, and thank you for being an important part of keeping this knowledge alive and relevant.

Literary Lapses

Literary Lapses PDF

Author: Stephen Leacock

Publisher: DigiCat

Published: 2022-05-28

Total Pages: 138

ISBN-13:

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Literary Lapses is book by Stephen Leacock. It presents a series of short humorous sketches, with themes such as: How to Make a Million Dollars, How to Live to be 200, How to Avoid Getting Married, Self-made Men and many more.

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