Difficult

Difficult PDF

Author: Judith R. Smith

Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield

Published: 2022-02-15

Total Pages: 283

ISBN-13: 1538138891

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A much-needed perspective on how to mother difficult adult children while balancing one’s own needs. Difficult brings to life the conflicts that arise for mothers who are confronted with the unexpected, burdensome, and even catastrophic dependencies of their adult children associated with mental illness, substance use, or chronic unemployment. Through real stories of mothers and their challenging adult children, this book offers relatable, provocative, and, at times, shocking illustrations of the excruciating maternal dilemma: Which takes precedence—the needs of the mother or of the distressed adult child? With guidance for finding social support, staying safe, engaging in self-care, and helping the adult child, Difficult is a compassionate resource for those living in a family situation which too many keep secret and allows readers to see that they are not alone.

Doing Life with Your Adult Children

Doing Life with Your Adult Children PDF

Author: Jim Burns, Ph.D

Publisher: Zondervan

Published: 2019-03-26

Total Pages: 188

ISBN-13: 0310353793

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Are you struggling to connect with your child now that they've left the nest? Are you feeling the tension and heartache as your relationship dynamic begins to change? In Doing Life with Your Adult Children, bestselling author and parenting expert Jim Burns provides practical advice and hopeful encouragement for navigating this tough yet rewarding transition. If you've raised a child, you know that parenting doesn't stop when they turn eighteen. In many ways, your relationship gets even more complicated--your heart and your head are as involved as ever, but you can feel things shifting, whether your child lives under your roof or rarely stays in contact. Doing Life with Your Adult Children helps you navigate this rich and challenging season of parenting. Speaking from his own personal and professional experience, Burns offers practical answers to the most common questions he's received over the years, including: My child's choices are breaking my heart--where did I go wrong? Is it OK to give advice to my grown child? What's the difference between enabling and helping? What boundaries should I have if my child moves back home? What do I do when my child doesn't seem to be maturing into adulthood? How do I relate to my grown child's significant other? What does it mean to have healthy financial boundaries? How can I support my grown children when I don't support their values? Including positive principles on bringing kids back to faith, ideas on how to leave a legacy as a grandparent, and encouragement for every changing season, Doing Life with Your Adult Children is a unique book on your changing role in a calling that never ends.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents PDF

Author: Lindsay C. Gibson

Publisher: New Harbinger Publications

Published: 2015-06-01

Total Pages: 284

ISBN-13: 162625172X

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Now a New York Times bestseller! If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life. In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life. Discover the four types of difficult parents: The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory

Mothers of Adult Children

Mothers of Adult Children PDF

Author: Marguerite Guzman Bouvard

Publisher: Lexington Books

Published: 2013-09-12

Total Pages: 206

ISBN-13: 073918301X

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Mothers of Adult Children elucidates what happens when children come of age and leave home, creating new lives in the realms of work and relationships. Mothers from around the world learn that this is the point in which their relationships with their children must drastically change. Mothers often come to terms with the changes by accepting differences and providing moral and emotional support when needed. However, the evolutionary nature of mothers’ roles throughout the course of their children’s lives is not only determined by the mother-child dynamic. The mothering of adult children is a transformative role, and the stories presented here show that the dynamics between mother and child are also influenced by cultural events. Accidents, disasters, war, and other hardships also intervene in these stories of multicultural motherhood. This book reveals the problems mothers of adult children face and celebrates the outstanding accomplishments of those who mother through hardship.

They Leave and Cleave

They Leave and Cleave PDF

Author: Terry Trimble Sims

Publisher: WestBow Press

Published: 2015-09-08

Total Pages: 95

ISBN-13: 1512700622

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The job of parenthood involves no interview process. There are no applications to file and no requirements to meet. Babies come without warnings or instructions. No one sets out a job description for usexcept for perhaps our mothers, who want grandchildren in the worst way. Parenting is a learning process that requires great care and patience. In They Leave and Cleave, author Terry Trimble Sims offers prayerful, biblical, and practical advice on mothering adult children. Using experiences and memories from raising three children of her own and fostering other children, Sims presents an honest look at motherhood and what it really means as the children become adults. Sims shares a host of sentiments about motherhood from the perspective of a mother longing to bless her children as they grow, leave home, marry, and have families of their own. They Leave and Cleave helps mothers as they cultivate loving and healthy relationships with their children as they transition to adulthood.

When Your Adult Child Breaks Your Heart

When Your Adult Child Breaks Your Heart PDF

Author: Joel Young

Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield

Published: 2013-12-03

Total Pages: 267

ISBN-13: 1493003968

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Behind nearly every adult who is accused of a crime, becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol, or who is severely mentally ill and acting out in public, there is usually at least one extremely stressed-out parent. This parent may initially react with the bad news of their adult child behaving badly with, "Oh no!" followed by, "How can I help to fix this?" A very common third reaction is the thought, "Where did I go wrong--was it something I said or did, or that I failed to do when my child was growing up that caused these issues? Is this really somehow all my fault?" These parents then open their homes, their pocketbooks, their hearts, and their futures to "saving" their adult child--who may go on to leave them financially and emotionally broken. Sometimes these families also raise the children their adult children leave behind: 1.6 million grandparents in the U.S. are in this situation. This helpful book presents families with quotations and scenarios from real suffering parents (who are not identified), practical advice, and tested strategies for coping. It also discusses the fact that parents of adult children may themselves need therapy and medications, especially antidepressants. The book is written in a clear, reassuring manner by Dr. Joel L. Young, medical director of the Rochester Center for Behavioral Medicine in Rochester Hills, Michigan; with noted medical writer Christine Adamec, author of many books in the field. In the wake of the Newtown shooting and the viral popularity of the post "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother," America is now taking a fresh look, not only at gun control, but also on how we treat mental illness. Another major issue is our support or stigmatization of those with adult children who are a major risk to their families as well to society itself. This book is part of that conversation.

Once a Parent ...

Once a Parent ... PDF

Author: Diann Braun

Publisher:

Published: 1983

Total Pages: 67

ISBN-13:

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[Abstract] This thesis explored the question "What is a mother's experience of parenting adult children?" An overview of literature pertinent to my question was presented. It was discovered that very little research has been conducted in the area of my topic. A heuristic model was employed, involving specific methods and procedures including: immersion, incubation, journaling, focusing, participation of co-researchers, group meetings, individual taped interviews; and self disclosure. Joining the investigation as co-researchers were ten women between the ages of 40 and 55 who have grown children at least 18 years of age. Handling of the data proceeded by heuristic methods and the following areas emerged as significant in the experiences of these women: 1. Recognition of the time when their children were in the period of transition from child to adult; 2. Identification of qualities needed by the mothers to successfully effect the transition from parenting children to parenting adults; 3. Recognition of specific roles these mothers felt they now played in the lives of their adult children; 4. Acknowledgement of positive and troublesome aspects connected with parenting grown children; 5. Identification of their own needs and how these needs are being met since the children have grown. Ultimately, the mothers viewed the experience of parenting grown children as complex, challenging, positive, liberating, and rewarding. Indications were that the empty nest syndrome seemed not to exist for women who have completed the role of parent. Implications and applications of the research were discussed in light of enhancing interpersonal relationships, psychotherapeutic intervention, educational and community-based program suggestions, and suggesting further research in this area.

I Didn't Cause It, I Can't Change It

I Didn't Cause It, I Can't Change It PDF

Author: Mary Ryan Woods

Publisher: Skillbites LLC

Published: 2016-04-13

Total Pages: 138

ISBN-13: 9781942489207

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PARENTING is not an easy task. No matter the challenges that a parent or their child faces, it can be hard to know the 'right' thing to do. It is no wonder that oftentimes the parent of an adult child with mental illness and addiction feels alone and may not know which way to turn. Knowing how and where to find help for their son or daughter is just the beginning. After caring for their loved one, a parent must turn their attention to themselves as well. CO-OCCURRING mental illness and addiction are brain diseases that affect many individuals. These diseases affect the family just as much as they affect the individual. As awareness is raised, individuals and families who suffer from these disorders come out of the shadows of stigma and shame. I DIDN'T CAUSE IT, I CAN'T CHANGE IT explains the journey taken by mothers of adult children who have experienced co-occurring disorders. Fourteen mothers graciously shared their stories and as varied as their experiences were, there were many common threads. What it all comes down to is hope. These mothers found hope and want to share the hope they found with others who are on similar journeys.

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