The New Laws of Love

The New Laws of Love PDF

Author: Marie Bergström

Publisher: Polity

Published: 2021-11-15

Total Pages: 200

ISBN-13: 9781509543519

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Online dating has become a widespread feature of modern social life. In less than two decades, seeking partners through commercial intermediaries went from being a marginal and stigmatized practice to a common activity. How can we explain this rapid change? And what does it tell us about the changing nature of love and intimacy? In contrast to those who praise online dating as the democratization of love and those who condemn it as the commodification of intimacy, this book tells a different story about how and why online dating became big. The key to understanding the growing prevalence of online dating lies in what Marie Bergström calls “the privatization of intimacy.” Online dating takes courtship from the public to the private sphere, and makes it a domestic and individual practice. Unlike courtship in traditional meeting venues, such as school, work and gatherings of family and friends, online dating makes a clear distinction between social and sexual sociability, and makes dating much more discrete. Apparently banal, this privatizing feature is fundamental for understanding both the success and the nature of digital matchmaking. It also sheds light on a broader social transformation: that of an increasingly private social life where interactions move indoors, narrow down to small circles and rely primarily on elective affinities. Drawing on a wide range of empirical material from interviews, national surveys and dating platforms, this book challenges what we think we know about online dating and gives us a new understanding of who, why and how people go online to seek sex and love.

Modern Romance

Modern Romance PDF

Author: Aziz Ansari

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2016-06-14

Total Pages: 290

ISBN-13: 0143109251

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The #1 New York Times Bestseller “An engaging look at the often head-scratching, frequently infuriating mating behaviors that shape our love lives.” —Refinery 29 A hilarious, thoughtful, and in-depth exploration of the pleasures and perils of modern romance from Aziz Ansari, the star of Master of None and one of this generation’s sharpest comedic voices At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it’s wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated? Some of our problems are unique to our time. “Why did this guy just text me an emoji of a pizza?” “Should I go out with this girl even though she listed Combos as one of her favorite snack foods? Combos?!” “My girlfriend just got a message from some dude named Nathan. Who’s Nathan? Did he just send her a photo of his penis? Should I check just to be sure?” But the transformation of our romantic lives can’t be explained by technology alone. In a short period of time, the whole culture of finding love has changed dramatically. A few decades ago, people would find a decent person who lived in their neighborhood. Their families would meet and, after deciding neither party seemed like a murderer, they would get married and soon have a kid, all by the time they were twenty-four. Today, people marry later than ever and spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect person, a soul mate. For years, Aziz Ansari has been aiming his comic insight at modern romance, but for Modern Romance, the book, he decided he needed to take things to another level. He teamed up with NYU sociologist Eric Klinenberg and designed a massive research project, including hundreds of interviews and focus groups conducted everywhere from Tokyo to Buenos Aires to Wichita. They analyzed behavioral data and surveys and created their own online research forum on Reddit, which drew thousands of messages. They enlisted the world’s leading social scientists, including Andrew Cherlin, Eli Finkel, Helen Fisher, Sheena Iyengar, Barry Schwartz, Sherry Turkle, and Robb Willer. The result is unlike any social science or humor book we’ve seen before. In Modern Romance, Ansari combines his irreverent humor with cutting-edge social science to give us an unforgettable tour of our new romantic world.

Love and Intimacy in Online Cross-Cultural Relationships

Love and Intimacy in Online Cross-Cultural Relationships PDF

Author: Wilasinee Pananakhonsab

Publisher: Springer

Published: 2016-11-16

Total Pages: 190

ISBN-13: 3319351192

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This book challenges assumptions about the motivations that drive women from relatively poor, developing countries to use intermarriage dating sites to find partners from relatively wealthy, developed countries. It is generally assumed that economic deprivation or economic opportunities are the main factors, but this book instead focuses on the work of women’s imagination in online cross-cultural relationships, including the role of desire, love and intimacy. The experiences of Thai women are used to explore how they initiate, develop and maintain love and intimacy with Western men across distance and time. The book shows that, in the absence of opportunities to search and meet partners from geographically distant parts of the world, the technology of the internet offers new ways of searching for and managing relationships and has significant consequences for local experiences and expectations of love and partnering. The book will be of interest to scholars and students with an interest in family and intimate life, gender and sexualities, Asian and Thai studies, globalization and nationalism, culture and media, sociology and anthropology.

The New Laws of Love

The New Laws of Love PDF

Author: Marie Bergström

Publisher: John Wiley & Sons

Published: 2021-12-21

Total Pages: 200

ISBN-13: 1509543538

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Online dating has become a widespread feature of modern social life. In less than two decades, seeking partners through commercial intermediaries went from being a marginal and stigmatized practice to being a common activity. How can we explain this rapid change and what does it tell us about the changing nature of love and sexuality? In contrast to those who praise online dating as a democratization of love and those who condemn it as a commodification of intimacy, this book tells a different story about how and why online dating became big. The key to understanding the growing prevalence of digital dating lies in what Marie Bergström calls “the privatization of intimacy.” Online dating takes courtship from the public to the private sphere and makes it a domestic and individual practice. Unlike courtship in traditional settings such as school, work, and gatherings of family and friends, online dating makes a clear distinction between social and sexual sociability and renders dating much more discrete. Apparently banal, this privatizing feature is fundamental for understanding both the success and the nature of digital matchmaking. Bergström also sheds light on the persisting inequalities of intimate life, showing that online dating is neither free nor fair: it has its winners and losers and it differs significantly according to gender, age and social class. Drawing on a wide range of empirical material, this book challenges what we think we know about online dating and gives us a new understanding of who, why, and how people go online to seek sex and love.

Deeper Dating

Deeper Dating PDF

Author: Ken Page

Publisher: Shambhala Publications

Published: 2014-12-30

Total Pages: 288

ISBN-13: 0834829924

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Lose weight. Act confident. Play hard to get. This approach to dating doesn’t lead to love, it leads to insecurity and loneliness. In Deeper Dating, psychotherapist Ken Page offers a new path to finding meaningful and lasting relationships. Learn how to attract people who love you for who you really are, become more self-assured and emotionally available, and lose your taste for relationships that diminish your self-esteem. With exercises, practical tools, and inspiring stories, Deeper Dating will guide you on a journey to find the love—and personal fulfillment—you long for.

The Illusion of Intimacy

The Illusion of Intimacy PDF

Author: John C. Bridges

Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA

Published: 2012-05-15

Total Pages: 153

ISBN-13:

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This book examines online dating from the "inside," using in-depth interviews with dating website members to reveal—and keenly analyze—what relationships and romance in the 21st century are really like. The members of the current generation of "digital guinea pigs" are true social pioneers as they embrace digital technology to create a new realm of mating, dating, and intimacy in America. Ironically, "digital dating" frequently results in an outcome that is exactly opposite to its participants' intended purposes. The Illusion of Intimacy: Problems in the World of Online Dating is more than a thorough investigation of the realities of modern relationships, many of which begin online—one in five, according to Match.com; the book introduces the reader to some of the natives and industry "users" who make up its clientele. Author John C. Bridges shows how they have adapted to technology to find new interactions, meet new partners, and share new experiences. The research focuses on the dating sites ranked in the top five by actual members of these sites who interviewed with the author to share their personal stories and experiences, all documented by saved emails and text messages.

Love, Intimacy and Online Dating

Love, Intimacy and Online Dating PDF

Author: Lisa Portolan

Publisher: Taylor & Francis

Published: 2022-12-02

Total Pages: 128

ISBN-13: 1000788091

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Love, Intimacy and Online Dating: How a Global Pandemic Redefined Romantic Relationships is an innovative work that explores the concept of intimacy during the COVID-19 pandemic. The book provides an overview of the online dating world and apps, the use of which gradually became common as the pandemic restricted people’s interaction in the physical world. The author’s extensive research conducted during the pandemic posits a comprehensive understanding of the individual’s motivation to join a dating app and explores its varied aspects. This thoroughly researched book explores the themes and elements of online dating and examines the users’ motivation for joining a dating app, for seeking intimacy as well as for self-presentation on the app. Portolan examines the underlying politics and role of infrastructure of dating apps and describes how gender, power, and intimacy intersect to create new intimacy phenomena. She also utilises her research to put forth the key concept of "Jagged Love", which describes a user’s cyclical relationship with dating apps during the pandemic, and the gap between a user’s act to seek familiar romantic narratives and the app’s inability to deliver against these ideas. The chapters further explore the differences between virtual and In Real Life (IRL) intimacy, the generation of gender and the emanation of stereotypical cultural ideals that the users sought through the apps. The book serves as an invaluable discussion on the pandemic’s impact on modifying the definitions of romance and intimacy. This book will be useful for highlighting the impact social factors can have on familiar concepts and the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic on the definition of love and intimacy, making it fascinating for students, academics and professionals interested in relationships, digital media and gender. It will also be useful in enhancing the comprehension of love and romance in the fields of social science.

The Illusion of Intimacy

The Illusion of Intimacy PDF

Author: John C. Bridges

Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA

Published: 2012-05-15

Total Pages: 153

ISBN-13:

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This book examines online dating from the "inside," using in-depth interviews with dating website members to reveal—and keenly analyze—what relationships and romance in the 21st century are really like. The members of the current generation of "digital guinea pigs" are true social pioneers as they embrace digital technology to create a new realm of mating, dating, and intimacy in America. Ironically, "digital dating" frequently results in an outcome that is exactly opposite to its participants' intended purposes. The Illusion of Intimacy: Problems in the World of Online Dating is more than a thorough investigation of the realities of modern relationships, many of which begin online—one in five, according to Match.com; the book introduces the reader to some of the natives and industry "users" who make up its clientele. Author John C. Bridges shows how they have adapted to technology to find new interactions, meet new partners, and share new experiences. The research focuses on the dating sites ranked in the top five by actual members of these sites who interviewed with the author to share their personal stories and experiences, all documented by saved emails and text messages.

Great Myths of Intimate Relationships

Great Myths of Intimate Relationships PDF

Author: Matthew D. Johnson

Publisher: John Wiley & Sons

Published: 2016-05-31

Total Pages: 261

ISBN-13: 1118521285

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Great Myths of Intimate Relationships provides a captivating, pithy introduction to the subject that challenges and demystifies the many fabrications and stereotypes surrounding relationships, attraction, sex, love, internet dating, and heartbreak. The book thoroughly interrogates the current research on topics such as attraction, sex, love, internet dating, and heartbreak Takes an argument driven approach to the study of intimate relationships, encouraging critical engagement with the subject Part of The Great Myths series, it's written in a style that is compelling and succinct, making it ideal for general readers and undergraduates

Out of Touch

Out of Touch PDF

Author: Michelle Drouin

Publisher: MIT Press

Published: 2023-06-06

Total Pages: 285

ISBN-13: 0262545993

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A behavioral scientist explores love, belongingness, and fulfillment, focusing on how modern technology can both help and hinder our need to connect. A Next Big Idea Club nominee. Millions of people around the world are not getting the physical, emotional, and intellectual intimacy they crave. Through the wonders of modern technology, we are connecting with more people more often than ever before, but are these connections what we long for? Pandemic isolation has made us even more alone. In Out of Touch, Professor of Psychology Michelle Drouin investigates what she calls our intimacy famine, exploring love, belongingness, and fulfillment and considering why relationships carried out on technological platforms may leave us starving for physical connection. Drouin puts it this way: when most of our interactions are through social media, we are taking tiny hits of dopamine rather than the huge shots of oxytocin that an intimate in-person relationship would provide. Drouin explains that intimacy is not just sex—although of course sex is an important part of intimacy. But how important? Drouin reports on surveys that millennials (perhaps distracted by constant Tinder-swiping) have less sex than previous generations. She discusses pandemic puppies, professional cuddlers, the importance of touch, “desire discrepancy” in marriage, and the value of friendships. Online dating, she suggests, might give users too many options; and the internet facilitates “infidelity-related behaviors.” Some technological advances will help us develop and maintain intimate relationships—our phones, for example, can be bridges to emotional support. Some, on the other hand, might leave us out of touch. Drouin explores both of these possibilities.