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Wired for Love

Author: Stan Tatkin

Publisher: New Harbinger Publications

Published: 2024-06-01

Total Pages: 332

ISBN-13: 1648482988

"Invaluable for so many partners looking to reconnect and grow closer together." —Gwyneth Paltrow, founder and CEO of goop "Stan Tatkin can be entirely followed into the towering infernos of our most painful relationship challenges." —Alanis Morissette, artist, activist, and wholeness advocate The complete “insider’s guide” to understanding your partner’s brain, sparking lasting connection, and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust—now with more than 170,000 copies sold. “What the heck is my partner thinking?” “Why do they always react like this?” “How can we get back that connection we had in the beginning?” If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, you aren’t alone, and it doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. Every person is wired for love differently—with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people’s minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and routines, making it possible to neurologically prime the brain for greater love and connection and fewer conflicts. This go-to guide will show you how. Drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this highly anticipated second edition of Wired for Love presents cutting-edge research on how and why love lasts, and offers ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. This fully revised and updated edition also includes new guidance on how to manage disagreements, as well as new exercises to help you create a sense of safety and security, establish healthy conflict ground rules, and deal with the threat of the third—any outside source which threatens the harmony in your relationship, including in-laws, alcohol, children, and affairs. You’ll find proven-effective strategies to help you strengthen your relationship by: Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” Using morning and evening routines to stay connected Learning how to see your partner’s point of view Meeting each other halfway in a fight Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By using simple gestures and words, you’ll learn to put out emotional fires and help your partner feel appreciated and loved. You’ll also discover how to move past a “warring brain” mentality and toward a more cooperative “loving brain.” Most importantly, you’ll gain a better understanding of the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships. While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you understand how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences, and create a lasting intimate connection.

Attached

Author: Amir Levine

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2010-12-30

Total Pages: 305

ISBN-13: 1101475161

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“Over a decade after its publication, one book on dating has people firmly in its grip.” —The New York Times We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle. Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: • Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back. • Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. • Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.

How We Love, Expanded Edition

Author: Milan Yerkovich

Publisher: WaterBrook

Published: 2009-01-20

Total Pages: 354

ISBN-13: 0307457338

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Did you know the last fight you had with your spouse began long before you even met? Are you tired of falling into frustrating relational patterns in your marriage? Do you and your spouse fight about the same things again and again? Relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich explain why the ways you and your spouse relate to each other go back to before you even met. Drawing on the powerful tool of attachment theory, Milan and Kay explore how your childhood created an “intimacy imprint” that affects your marriage today. Their stories and practical ideas help you: * identify your personal love style * understand how your early life impacts you and your spouse * break free from painful patterns that keep you stuck * find healing for the source of conflict, not just the symptoms * create the close, nourishing relationship you dream about Revised throughout with all-new material and additional visual diagrams, this expanded edition of How We Love will bring vibrant life to your marriage. Are you ready for a new journey of love? Note: The revised and expanded How We Love Workbook is available separately.

Building the Bonds of Attachment

Author: Daniel A. Hughes

Publisher: Jason Aronson

Published: 2006

Total Pages: 308

ISBN-13: 9780765704047

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This book will be of use to social workers, therapists and parents striving to assist poorly attached children. It is a narrative, composite case study of the developmental course of one child. The author blends attachment theory, research and trauma with general principles of parenting and family therapy to develop a solid model for intervention. It will prove a practical guide for all adults trying to help high-risk youth.

Attachments

Author: Tim Clinton

Publisher: HarperChristian + ORM

Published: 2009-02-15

Total Pages: 320

ISBN-13: 1418568694

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Unlock the secret to loving and lasting relationships! This book is for anyone who desires closeness, especially in the most intimate relationships: marriage, parenting, close friends, and ultimately with God. The answer to why people feel and act the way they do lies in the profound effect of a child's bonding process with his or her parents. How successfully we form and maintain relationships throughout life is related to those early issues of "attachment." Author Dr. Tim Clinton is recognized as a world leader in mental health and relationship issues—and he knows intimately what it is like to feel unloved. The child of a mentally ill mother who locked him in a closet and a father who was frequently gone, Clinton struggled with attachments for many years before discovering the secret to loving and being loved. Citing four primary bonding styles, you will learn: Why we love, feel, and act the way we do How to conquer depression, anxiety, anger, and grief How to be a sensitive, secure parent to your children How God’s love is enough to penetrate the brokenness and remove negative emotions from your life If you have come out of a painful, damaging, or traumatic past, reading this book will teach you how to experience the love and closeness you long to feel.

The Nature and Nurture of Love

Author: Marga Vicedo

Publisher: University of Chicago Press

Published: 2013-05-16

Total Pages: 332

ISBN-13: 022602055X

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The notion that maternal care and love will determine a child’s emotional well-being and future personality has become ubiquitous. In countless stories and movies we find that the problems of the protagonists—anything from the fear of romantic commitment to serial killing—stem from their troubled relationships with their mothers during childhood. How did we come to hold these views about the determinant power of mother love over an individual’s emotional development? And what does this vision of mother love entail for children and mothers? In The Nature and Nurture of Love, Marga Vicedo examines scientific views about children’s emotional needs and mother love from World War II until the 1970s, paying particular attention to John Bowlby’s ethological theory of attachment behavior. Vicedo tracks the development of Bowlby’s work as well as the interdisciplinary research that he used to support his theory, including Konrad Lorenz’s studies of imprinting in geese, Harry Harlow’s experiments with monkeys, and Mary Ainsworth’s observations of children and mothers in Uganda and the United States. Vicedo’s historical analysis reveals that important psychoanalysts and animal researchers opposed the project of turning emotions into biological instincts. Despite those substantial criticisms, she argues that attachment theory was paramount in turning mother love into a biological need. This shift introduced a new justification for the prescriptive role of biology in human affairs and had profound—and negative—consequences for mothers and for the valuation of mother love.

Is it Love... Or Merely a Sick Attachment?

Author: Pam Reaves

Publisher: Tate Publishing

Published: 2011-07

Total Pages: 318

ISBN-13: 1617772879

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Sometimes all you need is a fresh perspective, and through heart-wrenching short stories and gripping news headlines, author Pam Reaves unmasks the devastating difference between true love and toxic relationships. This isn't your grandma's love story but a modern-day look at the complications of lustful love brought on by fairy-tale expectations. Scripted TV romances and melodramatic movie magic have jaded our society's perspective on love and helped to raise our overwhelming divorce rates. Pam provides fictional examples that clearly define for readers what real love is and what just love of an idea is. This straight-talking style of writing will help you gain the courage to right the romantic wrongs in your life and embrace the kind of love that you deserve.

Insecure in Love

Author: Leslie Becker-Phelps

Publisher: New Harbinger Publications

Published: 2014-06-01

Total Pages: 224

ISBN-13: 1608828174

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Has your romantic partner called you clingy, insecure, desperate, or jealous? No one wants to admit that they possess these qualities; but if you find yourself constantly on the alert, anxious, or worried when it comes to your significant other, you may suffer from anxious attachment, a fear of abandonment that is often rooted in early childhood experiences. In Insecure in Love, you'll learn how to overcome attachment anxiety using compassionate self-awareness, a technique that can help you recognize your negative thoughts or unhealthy behavior patterns and respond to them in a nurturing way—rather than beating yourself up. You’ll also learn how insecurity can negatively affect healthy dialog between you and your partner (or potential partners) and develop the skills needed to stop you from reverting back to old patterns of neediness and possessiveness. If you suffer from anxious attachment, you probably know that you need to change, and yet you have remained stuck. With compassionate self-awareness, you can successfully explore old anxiety-perpetuating perceptions and habits without being overwhelmed or paralyzed by them. By understanding the psychological factors at the root of your attachment anxiety, you will learn to cultivate secure, healthy relationships to last a lifetime. If you’re ready to stop getting stuck in the same hurtful relationship patterns and finally break the cycle of heartache, this book can show you how to get the love you deserve—and keep it!

Dynamics of Romantic Love

Author: Mario Mikulincer

Publisher: Guilford Press

Published: 2006-03-14

Total Pages: 481

ISBN-13: 1593852703

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A theoretically and empirically rich exploration of universal questions, this book examines the interplay of three distinct behavioral systems involved in romantic love. This integrative volume will be of interest to both researchers and clinicians.

Wired for Dating

Author: Stan Tatkin

Publisher: New Harbinger Publications

Published: 2016-01-02

Total Pages: 200

ISBN-13: 1626253056

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In the age of online dating, finding a real connection can seem more daunting than ever! So, why not stack the odds of finding the right person in your favor? This book offers simple, proven-effective principles drawn from neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find the perfect mate. Everybody wants someone to love and spend time with, and searching for your ideal partner is a natural and healthy human tendency. Just about everyone dates at some point in their lives, yet few really understand what they're doing or how to get the best results. In Wired for Dating, psychologist and relationship expert Stan Tatkin—author of Wired for Love—offers powerful tips based in neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find a compatible mate and go on to create a fabulous relationship. Using real-life scenarios, you’ll learn key concepts about how people become attracted to potential partners, move toward or away from commitment, and the important role the brain and nervous system play in this process. Each chapter explores the scientific concepts of attachment theory, arousal regulation, and neuroscience. And with a little practice, you’ll learn to apply these exercises and practical techniques to your dating life. If you’re ready to get serious (or not!) about dating, meet your match, and have more fun, this book will be your guide.