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Johnny Two Kebabs - The Prequel

Author: Johnny Two Kebabs

Publisher: Johnny Two Kebabs

Published:

Total Pages: 73

ISBN-13:

On 15th June 2011, an extraordinary event took place in Brixton, south London. On that day, an Irishman devoured two doner kebabs in a mere 1 minute and 59 seconds. What made this feat even more remarkable was the fact that he had already indulged in 13 pints of lager. Now, in a riveting account, the true story of the events leading up to this accomplishment is recounted by the protagonist, 'Johnny Two Kebabs.' In this 'prequel' Johnny invites us into his world. Prepare to be captivated as he unveils how he came to be known, among other things, as the 'conscious vigilante.' Not simply the tale of a gastronomic triumph, it is also the story of a man, fuelled by a fervent sense of justice, as he fearlessly tracks down and brings to justice a dangerous armed robber. This is the story of Johnny Two Kebabs.

The Two Kebabs Trilogy and Prequel

Author: Kieran Mc Kenna

Publisher: Independently Published

Published: 2021-10-02

Total Pages: 248

ISBN-13:

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This collection is the complete works of Johnny Two Kebabs so far. It contains "The Prequel" as well as the three novellas "From Russia With Chilli And Garlic Sauce," "How I Found The G Spot" and "The Mixed Doner Murders"

The Second Trilogy Of Johnny Two Kebabs

Author: Johnny Two Kebabs

Publisher: Johnny Two Kebabs

Published: 2023-04-05

Total Pages: 241

ISBN-13:

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Journey through these memoirs with Johnny as he describes a world fraught with danger, mystery and questionable hygiene. With each page, he draws us deeper into his enigmatic realm as the truth behind each tale is unveiled. Setting the stage for the three novellas in this collection, "The Prequel" chronicles his astonishing rise to fame. How, during an unforgettable contest at Achmed's kebab shop in south London, he achieved notoriety by devouring two doner kebabs in a jaw-dropping one minute and fifty-nine seconds, after already having downed thirteen pints of lager. Next, his courage and resourcefulness are put to the test when he becomes entangled in an investigation into the murder of a Conservative MP, during which, he uncovers a sinister terrorist plot by a Cornish separatist group which propels him into a race against time to thwart a devastating attack. Finally, his strangest investigation yet leads him into the eccentric realm of alternative therapies. He comes face to face with the ghost of a former British prime minister, and together they must unravel the mystery of a series of brutal murders. In these pages, the 'conscious vigilante' opens up in a way he has never done before about realising the true power of the human spirit. He reveals what drives him and how his philosophy underpins his determination to vanquish evil. Brace yourself as you join Johnny Two Kebabs while he metes out justice on the mean streets of south London.

The Two Kebabs Trilogy

Author: Johnny Two Kebabs

Publisher: Johnny Two Kebabs

Published: 2021-05-11

Total Pages: 219

ISBN-13:

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Embark on a thrilling journey through the memoirs of Johnny Two Kebabs, the legendary 'conscious vigilante,' in this gripping trilogy of novellas. In the first instalment, "From Russia With Chilli And Garlic Sauce," Johnny uncovers a sinister plot involving a Russian assassination. As he delves deep into the conspiracy, he must navigate a treacherous web of lies and deceit. In the second novella, "How I Found The G Spot," Johnny takes on a different kind of challenge as he investigates the enigmatic conspiracy group known as G-Nome. Along the way, Johnny's own vulnerabilities come to light, revealing the complex layers beneath his valiant facade. Finally, in the third story, "The Mixed Doner Murders," Johnny tackles his most perplexing case yet. As a series of gruesome murders shocks the city, he must unravel the twisted motives behind the notorious 'Mixed Doner Murderer.' With lives hanging in the balance, Johnny's unwavering determination and sharp instincts are put to the ultimate test. These memoirs delve into the depths of Johnny Two Kebabs' psyche. Discover his unique 'philosophy' and the unwavering 'ethical' code that guides his every move.

From Russia With Chilli And Garlic Sauce

Author: Johnny Two Kebabs

Publisher: Johnny Two Kebabs

Published:

Total Pages: 80

ISBN-13:

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In the novella "From Russia with Chilli and Garlic Sauce," the legend of Johnny Two Kebabs is finally confirmed as being an astonishing reality. For years, the world has questioned the existence of this larger-than-life character, dismissing him as being merely an urban myth or a product of Irish folklore. But now, in his own words, Johnny Two Kebabs steps out of the shadows to set the record straight. This is the man who, on 15th June 2011, after having already imbibed 13 pints of lager, then proceeded to polish off two doner kebabs in 1 minute and 59 seconds. In this memoir, he writes candidly about his experiences in the high-stakes world of international intrigue and seduction as he pulls back the curtain on London's dark underbelly. Amidst assassins, Irish pubs, kebab shops, and under the influence of super-strength lager, Johnny recounts how he thwarted a Russian assassination plot on British soil. As he navigates the perilous world of high-stakes intrigue, he paints a vivid picture of a life filled with danger, passion, beer and the doner kebab.

The Mixed Doner Murders

Author: Johnny Two Kebabs

Publisher: Johnny Two Kebabs

Published: 2024-02-07

Total Pages: 82

ISBN-13:

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This third instalment is arguably the most important volume of Johnny's memoirs yet, as it firmly establishes him as one of the great ‘thinkers’ of modern times. Johnny shares with us some of his insights into the criminal mind and what drives him in his relentless pursuit of justice and his crusade against evil. The art of boxing, political ideology and gender fluidity all play a part in this latest fascinating chapter of Johnny's experience. In these pages, we get closer to understanding Johnny's 'philosophy of life' when we join him in a 'diversity and inclusion' training course, while at the same time he hunts down "the mixed doner murderer."

How I Found The G Spot

Author: Johnny Two Kebabs

Publisher: Johnny Two Kebabs

Published: 2021-02-21

Total Pages: 74

ISBN-13:

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In this second volume of his memoirs, Johnny describes how he infiltrated a dangerous gang of 'activists' and thwarted a plot to carry out a series of terrorist attacks in the U.K. In a race against time, he uncovers valuable information, but the deeper Johnny ventures into the heart of the gang's dark machinations, the more difficult it becomes to tread the path of righteousness as truth and falsehood seem to mingle into a surreal mirage. As more of his complex psyche is revealed, we learn about Johnny Two Kebabs 'the man' as opposed to just the public figure. Further insight is gained into his 'inner journey' as well as his 'outer journey' when he describes his experience of partaking of 'The Kebab Of Truth.' With danger ever-present Johnny's mettle and gastric juices are tested to their limits in this rollercoaster adventure where illusion and reality seem to merge into a mesmerising dance.

The Badge And The Gun

Author: Johnny Two Kebabs

Publisher: Johnny Two Kebabs

Published: 2023-11-14

Total Pages: 179

ISBN-13:

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When Johnny's underpants are stolen, such is his outrage that he takes a solemn vow: Until the day he tracks down the underpants thief and brings him to justice, he will 'go commando.' Deprived of his jocks and driven by a relentless desire for justice, he investigates not only the theft of his undergarment but also the circumstances surrounding a trail of bodies left in south London by the 'underpants killer.' Could the underpants thief and the underpants killer be the same person? Is the serial killer a 'trophy hunter'? With no jocks on, will Johnny get a chill in his kidneys? These are the questions Johnny must answer as he 'rides bareback' in his quest to find the culprit.

Pick-Up

Author: Charles Willeford

Publisher: Library of America

Published: 2017-11-07

Total Pages: 167

ISBN-13: 1598535722

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First published as an unheralded paperback original, Pick-Up is an authentic underground classic, an explosive bulletin from the urban underbelly of mid-1950s America. It was Charles Willeford’s second novel, after a rough and wandering earlier life that had taken him from Depression-era hobo camps and soup kitchens to wartime battlefields. The unblinking story of two lost and self-destructive drifters—a failed painter working as a counterman in a cheap diner and a woman in flight from domestic violence—trying to find a place for themselves in the back streets of San Francisco, Pick-Up is hardboiled writing at its nihilistic best: Willeford’s preferred title for the book was Until I Am Dead. Its bleak vision of life beyond the edge is haunted by rape, racism, alcoholism, suicide, and inescapable poverty, yet shot through with a tenderness and compassion sustained against all odds in a society offering few breaks to its outcasts and misfits. Pick-Up’s many twists and violent turns culminate in an ending that continues to surprise, confirming it as what critic Woody Haut has called “a razor-sharp narrative that rips open the genre.”

Sideswipe

Author: Charles Willeford

Publisher: Vintage Crime/Black Lizard

Published: 2005-03-08

Total Pages: 242

ISBN-13: 1400032482

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Hoke Moseley has had enough. Tired of struggling against alimony payments, two teenage daughters, a very pregnant, very single partner, and a low paying job as a Miami homicide detective, Hoke moves to Singer Island and vows never step foot on the mainland again. But on the street, career criminal Troy Louden is hatching plans of his own with a gang including a disfigured hooker, a talentless artist, and a clueless retiree. But when his simple robbery results in ruthless and indiscriminate bloodshed, Hoke quickly remembers why he is a cop and hurls himself back into the world he meant to leave behind forever. A masterly tale of both mid-life crisis and murder, Sideswipe is a page-turning thriller packed with laughs, loaded with suspense, and featuring one of the truly original detectives of all time.