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In Dog Years I'm Dead

Author: Carol Lynn Pearson

Publisher: Gibbs Smith

Published: 2010-08-01

Total Pages: 130

ISBN-13: 1423615069

Quips and quotes about aging to keep you laughing into your golden years. If there’s one thing most of us have learned by midlife, it’s that sharing laughter is what makes for the best memories—and one of the best ways to live until you die. You know you’re getting older when… •you do the hokey pokey and put your left hip out—and it stays out •you’re cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police •you’re sitting in a rocker and can’t get it started This treasury of humorous observations can lift the spirits of that large portion of the population who are settling into a new phase of life—and want to add laughter to all the other medicines they’re taking.

While I'm Dead - Feed the Dog

Author: Ric Browde

Publisher:

Published: 2000

Total Pages: 274

ISBN-13: 9780006513742

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Imagine if J.D. Salinger had a sense of humour ... this intelligent, off-beat novel is fast-paced, wicked, dark and extremely funny. My publishers are trying to convince me that books are like albums and sell better when they are released posthumously. Seeing the point, I ask if I can at least fake my own death, but it seems that is fundamentally dishonest and they flatly refuse to be involved in any such fraud. So just in case I've croaked by the time you read this (and everyone but me is filthy rich), here is my story: one day I'm trying to get into the pants of the most beautiful girl in the world, Nina Pennington, and the next day I'm in the back of a limo on the road to rock'n'roll superstardom opening up for Bowie. But we hit a bump or two -- a few dead Mafia hitmen here, a nyphomaniac next door there, not to mention a few dying Latin teachers, narcoleptic nuns, inept policemen, unscupulous laywers, buffoon reporters, huckster televangelists and greedy relatives -- and now for some unknown reason a lot of people don't want to talk to me anymore. When sixteen-year-old Ric Thibault's story opens with his mother's attempted suicide note: While I'm dead... feed the dog and h

Garfield at 25

Author: Jim Davis

Publisher: Ballantine Books

Published: 2004-06

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9780345452047

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A twenty-five year anniversary collection of cartoons of the famous cat Garfield.

You Can Have a Dog When I'm Dead

Author: Paul Benedetti

Publisher: Dundurn

Published: 2017-02-18

Total Pages: 256

ISBN-13: 1459738128

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Paul Benedetti has a good job, a great family, and successful neighbours — but that doesn’t stop him from using it all as grist for a series of funny, real, and touching essays about a world he can’t quite navigate. Family life, marriage, kids, new experiences — he's written about them all, both funny and heartbreaking.

The Dog Year

Author: Ann Wertz Garvin

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2014-06-03

Total Pages: 337

ISBN-13: 1101634634

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Dr. Lucy Peterman was not built for a messy life. A well-respected surgeon whose patients rely on her warmth, compassion, and fierce support, Lucy has always worked hard and trusted in the system. She’s not the sort of person who ends up in a twelve-step program after being caught stealing supplies from her hospital. But that was Lucy before the accident—before her husband and unborn baby were ripped away from her in an instant, before her future felt like a broken promise. Caught red-handed in a senseless act that kept her demons at bay, she’s faced with a choice: get some help or lose her medical license. Now she’s reluctantly sharing her deepest fears with a bunch of strangers, avoiding her loneliness by befriending a troubled girl, pinning her hopes on her husband’s last gift, and getting involved with a rugged cop from her past. It’s only when she is adopted by a stray mutt and moves her group to the dog park that she begins to truly bond with the ragtag dog-loving addicts—and discovers that a chaotic, unplanned life might be the sweetest of all . . .

Pretend I'm Dead

Author: Jen Beagin

Publisher: Northwestern University Press

Published: 2015-10-30

Total Pages: 170

ISBN-13: 0810132087

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Jen Beagin’s funny, moving, fearless debut novel introduces an unforgettable character, Mona—almost 24, cleaning houses to get by, emotionally adrift. Handing out clean needles to drug addicts, she falls for a recipient who proceeds to break her heart in unimaginable ways. She decamps to Taos, New Mexico, for a fresh start, where she finds a community of seekers and cast-offs. But they all have one or two things to teach her—the pajama-wearing, blissed-out New Agers, the slightly creepy client with peculiar tastes in controlled substances, the psychic who might really be psychic. Always just under the surface are her memories of growing up in a chaotic, destructive family from which she’s trying to disentangle herself. The story of her journey toward a comfortable place in the world and a measure of self-acceptance is psychologically acute, often surprising, and entirely human.

My Dog: The Paradox

Author: The Oatmeal

Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published: 2013-05-07

Total Pages: 35

ISBN-13: 1449437710

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This eponymous comic became an instant hit when it went live on The Oatmeal.com and was liked on Facebook by 700,000 fans. Now fans will have a keepsake book of this comic to give and to keep. In My Dog: The Paradox, Inman discusses the canine penchant for rolling in horse droppings, chasing large animals four times their size, and acting recklessly enthusiastic through the entirety of their impulsive, lovable lives. Hilarious and heartfelt, My Dog: The Paradox eloquently illustrates the complicated relationship between man and dog. We will never know why dogs fear hair dryers, or being baited into staring contests with cats, but as Inman explains, perhaps we love dogs so much “because their lives aren’t lengthy, logical, or deliberate, but an explosive paradox composed of fur, teeth, and enthusiasm.”

Afterglow

Author: Eileen Myles

Publisher: Grove Press

Published: 2017-09-12

Total Pages: 183

ISBN-13: 0802188788

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“A ravishingly strange and gorgeous book about a dog that’s really about life and everything there is…astonishing.” —Helen Macdonald, New York Times-bestselling author of H Is for Hawk In 1990, poet Eileen Myles chose Rosie from a litter of pit bulls on the street, and their connection instantly became central to the writer's life and work. During the course of their sixteen years together, Myles was madly devoted to the dog’s well-being, especially in her final days. Starting from the emptiness following Rosie's death, Afterglow launches a heartfelt and fabulist investigation into the true nature of the bond between pet and pet owner. Through this lens, we witness Myles’s experiences with intimacy and spirituality, celebrity and politics, alcoholism and recovery, fathers and family history, as well as the fantastical myths we spin to get to the heart of grief. Moving from an imaginary talk show where Rosie is interviewed by Myles’s childhood puppet to a critical reenactment of the night Rosie mated with another pit bull, from lyrical transcriptions of their walks to Rosie’s enlightened narration from the afterlife, Afterglow illuminates all that it can mean when we dedicate our existence to a dog. “Myles gets at something no other dog book I’ve read has gotten at quite this distinctly: The sense of wordless connection and spiritual expansion you feel when you love and are loved by a creature who’s not human…raw and affecting.” —Maureen Corrigan, Fresh Air, NPR

Is that a Dead Dog in Your Locker?

Author: Todd Strasser

Publisher: Scholastic Inc.

Published: 2008-08

Total Pages: 191

ISBN-13: 0439776945

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When Leyton and Wade Tardy agree to help their friend Daisy hide a dog at school, they have no idea what they're getting themselves into.