Lanterna Rally

Author: Nancy Dreyfus, Psy.D.

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2009-12-24

Total Pages: 168

ISBN-13: 1101159553

“The most crucial relationship advice book since Men Are from Mars.”—Erin Meanley, Glamour.com A groundbreaking, interactive relationship tool that literally places in the hands of couples the power to transform chronically frustrating relationship dynamics. We've all been there. A conversation with a loved one escalates into conflict. Voices rise to a fever pitch and angry, accusative words fly through the air. At times like these, it seems impossible to find the magic words that will lead to healing. Enter Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love. A psychotherapist with decades of experience in counseling couples, Nancy Dreyfus hit upon the revolutionary practice outlined in this book during a couples-therapy session in which a wife’s unrelenting criticism of her husband was causing him to become emotionally withdrawn. In the midst of this, Dreyfus found herself scribbling on a scrap of paper, “Talk to me like I'm someone you love,” and gestured to the husband that he should hold it up. He did and within seconds the familiar power differential between the two shifted, and a gentler, more genuine connection emerged. Dreyfus was startled, then intrigued, and then motivated to create a tool that could help others. This book features more than one hundred of Dreyfus's "flash cards for real life," written statements that express what we wish we could communicate to the person we love, but either can't find the right words or the right tone in which to say it. The statements include: • Taking responsibility: "I realize I'm overreacting. Can you give me a minute to get sane again?" • Apologizing: "I know I've really hurt you. What can I do to help you trust me again?" • Loving: "You are precious, and I get that I haven't been treating you like you are." A one-of-a-kind, practical relationship tool, Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love will help couples to stop arguing and begin healing.