How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man

How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man PDF

Author: Mary McHugh

Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published: 2009-03-17

Total Pages: 146

ISBN-13: 0740781553

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Good things come in small sizes. That is so true, especially for How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man. Big on fun and filled with hilarious insights about how not to let our inner crotchety old man out, this one makes the perfect Father's Day gift. Men will learn how to age gracefully so they never rattle off an inappropriate "dirty old man" joke. They'll learn that reading the obits first is a cardinal sin and that never reading the instructions is a close second.

How Not to Become a Little Old Lady

How Not to Become a Little Old Lady PDF

Author: Mary McHugh

Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published: 2008-03-01

Total Pages: 145

ISBN-13: 0740788655

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You can be little. You can be old. You can be a lady. But you don’t have to be a little old lady! We’ve all seen her, hunched forward, her hair tucked neatly under a plastic rain bonnet. She’s clutching expired coupons, or discussing her latest health problems over lunch. She’s a little old lady . . . and she's coming your way at 2 mph. Little old ladies have elastic waistbands on all their slacks. They save rubber bands, remember fifteen-cent McDonald’s hamburgers, and have never seen a public rest room that was clean enough. How Not to Become a Little Old Lady is for any woman who is proud to have escaped little old ladyhood—or those in danger of slipping into it. Lighthearted and affectionately funny, it also includes charming illustrations from Adrienne Hartman.

Refire! Don't Retire

Refire! Don't Retire PDF

Author: Ken Blanchard

Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers

Published: 2015-02-02

Total Pages: 141

ISBN-13: 1626563357

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Bring a renewed sense of purpose to the next chapter of your life with the New York Times bestselling author’s guide to thriving in retirement. Many people see their later years as a time to endure rather than as an exciting opportunity. Yet research and common sense confirm that people who embrace these years with energy and gusto consistently find them to be rich and rewarding. In Refire! Don't Retire, Ken Blanchard and Morton Shaevitz offer inspiring insight and thought-provoking questions to help people make the rest of their lives the best of their lives. In the trademark Ken Blanchard style, the authors tell the compelling story of Larry and Janice Sparks, who discover how to see each day as an opportunity to enhance their relationships, stimulate their minds, revitalize their bodies, and grow spiritually. As they learn to be open to new experiences, Larry and Janice rekindle passion in every area of their lives. Readers will find humor, practical information, and profound wisdom in Refire! Don't Retire. Best of all, they will be inspired to make all the years ahead truly worth living.

If I Get Hit By a Bus Tomorrow, Here's How to Replace the Toilet Paper Roll

If I Get Hit By a Bus Tomorrow, Here's How to Replace the Toilet Paper Roll PDF

Author: Mary McHugh

Publisher: Willow Creek Press

Published: 2014-07-12

Total Pages: 96

ISBN-13: 1623435552

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With this delightful, tongue-in-cheek guide for men who can win a case before the Supreme Court or run a conglomerate but can’t find the butter, Ms. McHugh provides a step-by-step guide for making breakfast, emptying the dishwasher, finding the clothes hamper and doing the laundry, along with an assortment of other domestic necessities. She continues with wise advice for men whose wives are pregnant—“How to Live with a Pregnant Wife Without Complaining about Anything While Making Her Feel Sexy and Desirable At All Times”, tells them how to go without sleep for three months after the baby is born, and finishes up with “How to Watch Football and the Baby at the Same Time.” A chapter on taking care of three small boys while staying sane should be on every young father’s emergency list for times when his wife is out of town on business or visiting her mother in Iowa. And finally, instructions on answering a ringing telephone, folding shirts for a business trip and finding his wallet, keys, glasses, socks and underwear are absolute must-reads for every man who thinks some invisible being does all those things. Aimed at busy women of all ages, this book will also make grown men laugh and might even be useful when they run out of underwear.

How to Become a Sweet Old Lady Instead of a Grumpy Old Grouch

How to Become a Sweet Old Lady Instead of a Grumpy Old Grouch PDF

Author: Marilynn Carlson Webber

Publisher: Zondervan Publishing Company

Published: 1996

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9780310207160

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With practicality and humor, these anecdotes show how choices we make in our 30s and 40s determine who we will become as we grow older--and how making right choices helps us develop positive traits including courage to face change, growth in grace, and contentment.

One Trick Pony

One Trick Pony PDF

Author: Nathan Hale

Publisher: Abrams

Published: 2017-03-14

Total Pages: 128

ISBN-13: 1683350707

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The aliens have arrived. And they’re hungry for electricity. In the Earth of the future, humans are on the run from an alien force—giant blobs who suck up electrical devices wherever they can find them. Strata and her family are part of a caravan of digital rescuers, hoping to keep the memory of civilization alive by saving electronics wherever they can. Many humans have reverted to a pre-electrical age, and others have taken advantage of the invasion to become dangerous bandits and outlaws. When Strata and her brother are separated from the caravan, they must rely on a particularly beautiful and rare robot pony to escape the outlaws and aliens—and defeat the invaders once and for all.

Ur Special

Ur Special PDF

Author: Danny Casale

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2021-11-02

Total Pages: 193

ISBN-13: 0593330102

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Based on the wildly popular characters from Coolman Coffeedan, a colorful and charming collection of parables reminding us to face our fears, our anxieties, and our self-consciousness head-on. What do a naked cat, a sad turtle, an armless robot, and a sentient potato have in common? Quite a lot, actually! In this vibrant and heartfelt book, self-proclaimed bad animator Danny Casale delivers a much-needed jolt of positivity and humor to ease even the sourest of spirits. Fans of his Coolman Coffeedan accounts will recognize his simple and relatable illustrations, but the material is entirely new. Each chapter introduces a new friend and a new hardship, offering the perfect pick-me-up for whatever has you down. Tackling topics from loneliness and self-confidence to the perfect (ONLY) way to construct a bowl of cereal, this book will leave you feeling just fine. So don’t forget—no matter what you may be feeling on the inside, or what people may be saying on the outside, UR SPECIAL!

Don't Ever Look Back

Don't Ever Look Back PDF

Author: Daniel Friedman

Publisher: Minotaur Books

Published: 2014-04-22

Total Pages: 288

ISBN-13: 1250027578

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DON'T EVER GET OLD was one of mystery-publishing's biggest critical successes last year, earning starred reviews from every major trade publication, garnering nominations for the Edgar, Thriller, and Anthony awards, and winning the Macavity Award for Best First Novel. The producer of four Harry Potter films and the Sherlock Holmes sequel, Lionel Wigram, is set to produce the film version. In Daniel Friedman's new novel, set in Memphis, Tennessee, and four months after the events of DON'T EVER GET OLD, eighty-eight-year-old Buck Schatz is reluctantly coming to terms with the fact that he can only move around with the aid of a walker, and his dementia seems to be getting worse. So when one of Buck's long-time foes, a bank-robber named Elijah, comes to Buck looking for protection from mysterious pursuers, Buck wavers. In the end, his desire to cement his legacy by closing out a series of long-unsolved robberies overwhelms his usual antipathy toward doing favors for people he dislikes. Buck agrees to broker Elijah's surrender to the authorities, if Elijah will promise to confess to his long-ago crimes. But nothing involving Elijah, or Buck, is ever simple, and Elijah's plans for Buck are more sinister than they first appeared. Written in Buck's signature voice and featuring a mystery that will knock your socks off, DON'T EVER LOOK BACK takes a decades-old feud between two dangerous—and now elderly—men and brings it to a final, explosive conclusion.

Dogs with Old Man Faces

Dogs with Old Man Faces PDF

Author: Tom Cohen

Publisher: Running Press Adult

Published: 2013-10-01

Total Pages: 146

ISBN-13: 0762450665

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Sure, it's easy to love a cute puppy with adorable eyes. But there's just something about those dogs with old man faces, with mugs weathered by experience and wisdom. Dogs with Old Man Faces combines heartwarming photos with humorous captions, sure to make anyone laugh and love their old dogs even more.

The Novel Cure

The Novel Cure PDF

Author: Ella Berthoud

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2014-12-30

Total Pages: 434

ISBN-13: 0143125931

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"Delightful... elegant prose and discussions that span the history of 2,000 years of literature."—Publisher's Weekly A novel is a story transmitted from the novelist to the reader. It offers distraction, entertainment, and an opportunity to unwind or focus. But it can also be something more powerful—a way to learn about how to live. Read at the right moment in your life, a novel can—quite literally—change it. The Novel Cure is a reminder of that power. To create this apothecary, the authors have trawled two thousand years of literature for novels that effectively promote happiness, health, and sanity, written by brilliant minds who knew what it meant to be human and wrote their life lessons into their fiction. Structured like a reference book, readers simply look up their ailment, be it agoraphobia, boredom, or a midlife crisis, and are given a novel to read as the antidote. Bibliotherapy does not discriminate between pains of the body and pains of the head (or heart). Aware that you’ve been cowardly? Pick up To Kill a Mockingbird for an injection of courage. Experiencing a sudden, acute fear of death? Read One Hundred Years of Solitude for some perspective on the larger cycle of life. Nervous about throwing a dinner party? Ali Smith’s There but for The will convince you that yours could never go that wrong. Whatever your condition, the prescription is simple: a novel (or two), to be read at regular intervals and in nice long chunks until you finish. Some treatments will lead to a complete cure. Others will offer solace, showing that you’re not the first to experience these emotions. The Novel Cure is also peppered with useful lists and sidebars recommending the best novels to read when you’re stuck in traffic or can’t fall asleep, the most important novels to read during every decade of life, and many more. Brilliant in concept and deeply satisfying in execution, The Novel Cure belongs on everyone’s bookshelf and in every medicine cabinet. It will make even the most well-read fiction aficionado pick up a novel he’s never heard of, and see familiar ones with new eyes. Mostly, it will reaffirm literature’s ability to distract and transport, to resonate and reassure, to change the way we see the world and our place in it. "This appealing and helpful read is guaranteed to double the length of a to-read list and become a go-to reference for those unsure of their reading identities or who are overwhelmed by the sheer number of books in the world."—Library Journal