Give the Bitch Her Chocolate

Give the Bitch Her Chocolate PDF

Author: Ed Polish

Publisher:

Published: 2009-03-01

Total Pages: 130

ISBN-13: 1580089747

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In the fifth installment of the best-selling BITCH series, each exuberantly vulgar dictum dishes on the delights of chocolate, coffee, and other intoxicating comestibles, and is thoughtfully paired with a fine vintage illustration. GIVE THE BITCH HER CHOCOLATE brings a particularly piquant imperiousness to the table, serving up a feast of edible and potable quoteables from diva-licious dames. These hedonistic heroines bring haute cuisine to a whole new level that's at least as high as their hairdos. GIVE THE BITCH HER CHOCOLATE is the ultimate validation for a favorite foodie, churlish chocoholic, or domestic dominatrix because bitchiness isn't just an attitude--it's a lifestyle.

I Bitch, Therefore I Am

I Bitch, Therefore I Am PDF

Author: Ed Polish

Publisher: Random House Digital, Inc.

Published: 2007

Total Pages: 130

ISBN-13: 1580088295

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A third volume in the popular series of humor collections brings together sixty full-color advertising images from the 1940s through the 1960s with hilarious sayings that address such topics as love, motherhood, orgasms, politics, menopause, religion, and chocolate, among other topics.

The Chocolate Money

The Chocolate Money PDF

Author: Ashley Prentice Norton

Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

Published: 2012

Total Pages: 293

ISBN-13: 0547840047

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After being raised in 1980s Chicago by a promiscuous mother, Bettina Ballentyne, the daughter of a chocolate heiress struggles to walk the line between self-preservation and self-destruction at an East Coast prep school.

I'd Rather Eat Chocolate

I'd Rather Eat Chocolate PDF

Author: Joan Sewell

Publisher: Harmony

Published: 2007-01-23

Total Pages: 226

ISBN-13: 0767927214

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“If I had a choice between having sex and reading a good book, the book wins. I notice I put in the adjective ‘good’—and that leaves me wondering if I’m not trying to put a better face on things. I still want people to read this and think, ‘Well, of course. If it’s a good book.’ But my boyfriend—the man I would eventually marry—would take even bad sex over a good book.” --From I’d Rather Eat Chocolate Joan is hardly ever in the mood. Kip is always in the mood. Does that sound like any couple you know? Joan Sewell is a funny, brave new writer who dares to reveal that sex in her house does not look anything like the sex you see in movies. When she learns that her husband, Kip, would have sex five or six times a week if he could have as much sex as he wanted (compared to her once or twice a month), Joan decides she’d better pluck up her sex drive before she ends up on the fast track to divorce court. I’d Rather Eat Chocolate is the witty, provocative chronicle of her search for a lift to her libido and what happens when none of the expert advice works. First she tries sexy underwear—until her husband realizes she is cheating on her thongs by wearing cotton panties. Then she reads that for stressed-out wives, a husband who does housework is the ultimate aphrodisiac—until she realizes that she is actually the slob in the relationship and the mess hasn’t decreased Kip’s sex drive any. When she reads John Gray’s advice to women to offer “quickies” if their husbands want sex and they are not in the mood, Joan realizes that this is the ultimate male trump card so she can never again say no to sex. Her fantasies begin to involve smothering John Gray with a pillow. Joan Sewell is scrappy, fearless, and hilarious, the “I Love Lucy” of low libido. Her memoir is laugh-out-loud funny. But it has a serious vein, too. How Joan and Kip work it out, and what they do when they “do it,” will give every woman hope that she can be true to herself and have a happy marriage.

Wasp Queen

Wasp Queen PDF

Author: Claudia Cortese

Publisher:

Published: 2016

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9781625579607

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Poetry. Women's Studies. "Claudia Cortese has given to Lucy what Anne Carson has given to Geryon: a life as desperate and fraught as our own, which is to say, a human rendition of the poetic potential. Here, memory is a potent point of inner excavation, where the threshold of danger and love are often one beam, a beam in which Cortese navigates with harrowingly deft eyes and ears, where Lucy, like so many of us citizens of earth and flesh, 'shines like a gun.' WASP QUEEN possesses something permanent and searing at its core: the will to live, even thrive, despite the shackles of childhood, despite even oneself. I finished this book only to read it all over again, finding and losing myself, gladly, at every turn." --Ocean Vuong

Skinny Bastard

Skinny Bastard PDF

Author: Rory Freedman

Publisher: Hachette UK

Published: 2009-04-28

Total Pages: 192

ISBN-13: 0786748893

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For every Skinny Bitch, there's a kick-ass man just as eager to take control of his weight and health. The New York Times bestselling authors now share their tips for turning Dad bods into Skinny Bastards. What's good for the bitch is good for the bastard. Hundreds of thousands of women have been inspired to "use their head" and get real about the food they eat after reading the best-selling manifesto Skinny Bitch. But it turns out some men have been reading over their girlfriends' shoulders. Professional athletes such as Milwaukee Brewers' Prince Fielder and the Dallas Mavericks' Jerry Stackhouse have adopted a whole new eating plan because of the book. Now authors Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin think it's time for the guys to have a book of their own. In Skinny Bastard, they'll explain why the macho "meat and potatoes" diet is total crap, why having a gut is un-cool (and a turn-off), and how to get buff on the right foods. Eating well shouldn't be a "girlie" thing-and the Bitches will whip any man into shape with their straight-talk, sound guidance, and locker room language.

Blood and Chocolate

Blood and Chocolate PDF

Author: Annette Curtis Klause

Publisher: Delacorte Press

Published: 2007-08-14

Total Pages: 290

ISBN-13: 0375843167

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Vivian Gandillon relishes the change, the sweet, fierce ache that carries her from girl to wolf. At sixteen, she is beautiful and strong, and all the young wolves are on her tail. But Vivian still grieves for her dead father; her pack remains leaderless and in disarray, and she feels lost in the suburbs of Maryland. She longs for a normal life. But what is normal for a werewolf? Then Vivian falls in love with a human, a meat-boy. Aiden is kind and gentle, a welcome relief from the squabbling pack. He's fascinated by magic, and Vivian longs to reveal herself to him. Surely he would understand her and delight in the wonder of her dual nature, not fear her as an ordinary human would. Vivian's divided loyalties are strained further when a brutal murder threatens to expose the pack. Moving between two worlds, she does not seem to belong in either. What is she really--human or beast? Which tastes sweeter--blood or chocolate?

Switch Bitch

Switch Bitch PDF

Author: Roald Dahl

Publisher: Penguin UK

Published: 2002-03-28

Total Pages: 144

ISBN-13: 0141945257

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In Switch Bitch four tales of seduction and suspense are told by the grand master of the short story, Roald Dahl. Topping and tailing this collection are The Visitor and Bitch, stories featuring Dahl's notorious hedonist Oswald Hendryks Cornelius (or plain old Uncle Oswald) whose exploits are frequently as extraordinary as they are scandalous. In the middle, meanwhile, are The Great Switcheroo and The Last Act, two stories exploring a darker side of desire and pleasure. In the black comedies of Switch Bitch Roald Dahl brilliantly captures the ins and outs, highs and lows of sex. 'Dahl is too good a storyteller to become predictable' Daily Telegraph Roald Dahl, the brilliant and worldwide acclaimed author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach, Matilda, and many more classics for children, also wrote scores of short stories for adults. These delightfully disturbing tales have often been filmed and were most recently the inspiration for the West End play, Roald Dahl's Twisted Tales by Jeremy Dyson. Roald Dahl's stories continue to make readers shiver today.

Seduction and Snacks

Seduction and Snacks PDF

Author: Tara Sivec

Publisher: CreateSpace

Published: 2012

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9781477661871

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Warning #1: This book is not to be taken seriously. Do not read this if you don't have the sense of humor of a 15 year old boy. Do not read this if you ARE a fifteen year old boy. This book is totally crude and inappropriate and uses the word "vagina" a lot. No, I mean A LOT. If you don't think people who are drunk are hilarious, you shouldn't read this book. You probably shouldn't read this book if you aren't drunk yourself. You should probably just put this book down and get drunk. You may think that no one in the world talks like the people in this book, but they do. They are called "people who are funny and inappropriate". This book is completely unrealistic; the author is aware of that fact and did it on purpose. 2012 Goodreads Choice Award Nominee - Best RomanceClaire is a twenty-something, single mom that grudgingly helps her best friend sell sex toys while she attempts to make enough money to start her own business to give her foul-mouthed, but extremely loveable (when he's asleep) toddler a better life. When Carter, the one-night-stand from her past that changed her life forever, shows up in her hometown bar without any recollection of her besides her unique chocolate scent, Claire will make it a point that he remembers her this time. With Carter's undisguised shock at suddenly finding out he has a four-year-old son and Claire's panic that her stretch marks and slim to none bedroom experience will send the man of her dreams heading for the hills, the pair will do whatever they can to get their happily ever after.Warning #2: contains explicit sex, profanity and enough sarcasm to choke a horse.When Carter, the one-night-stand from her past that changed her life forever, shows up in her hometown bar without any recollection of her besides her unique chocolate scent, Claire will make it a point that he remembers her this time. With Carter's undisguised shock at suddenly finding out he has a four-year-old son and Claire's panic that her stretch marks and slim to none bedroom experience will send the man of her dreams heading for the hills, the pair will do whatever they can to get their happily ever after.Warning: contains explicit sex, profanity and enough sarcasm to choke a horse.

Crazy as Chocolate

Crazy as Chocolate PDF

Author: Elisabeth Hyde

Publisher: Pan Publishing

Published: 2013-10-24

Total Pages: 256

ISBN-13: 9781447256205

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'When I went off to college I started telling people that my mother died in a car crash.' Ellie and Izzy have lived a life with a mother they adored. Taking them for long midnight baths or dancing in the dark in the rain, she's been a magical, colourful figure. Now, on the eve of her forty-first birthday, Izzy realises that she's about to reach the year her mother never got beyond. Her father and sister are flying out for an emotionally charged weekend visit, and Izzy can't help feeling that she's still responsible, that there are apologies to be made. Surely now she's at an age where a grown-up daughter can put things behind her? Like her bestselling novel The Abortionist's Daughter, Elisabeth Hyde's Crazy as Chocolate dwells on the fragile yet binding relationship between a mother and her daughters. It is an enchanting novel of an idyllic, wild childhood and of two girls who, in spite of everything, love the woman who gave them life.