Lanterna Rally

Author: Dean Burkey

Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub

Published: 2011-04-14

Total Pages: 206

ISBN-13: 9781461067351

Comedian-Written & Pastor-Approved! With the "Divine Comedy" in Scripture, such as Elijah's sarcastic insults to the prophets of Baal and the slapstick absurdity of David faking insanity, as well as The Dean James Version's comedic commentary, readers should enjoy laughter of biblical proportions. And not just any kind of laughter. Holy Laughter! Finding humor in every book of the Bible, this book answers such intriguing questions as: * Which book of the Bible is like a textbook on how to write a great comedy? * What's so funny about a handkerchief? And more importantly: * What makes a great gift for birthdays, confirmation, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, anytime? Also includes lots of funny headings and one-liners, an insightful inspection of the Resurrection of Christ: "For Sale: One Tomb, Slightly Used", "The Ultimate Movie Trailer!", clever character sketches of Simon Peter, Pontius Pilate, and more! Play "The Crosscheck Cookie Game!" Whenever you find a wordplay with the word cross in Holy Laughter!: Eat a cookie. ... Or to be more fun: Eat a hot cross bun. ... Or to be healthy, eat a carrot. For example: How did Mary make the Messiah's sash? ... She cross-stitched. Christian books are cross-referenced. More Excerpts Although many have tried, Moses is the only man in history to break all Ten Commandments at the same time. And what about Delilah? In Judges 16:1-22, Delilah pesters Samson for the secret of his strength. As soon as Samson tells her something, she tries it to no avail. Thus, she's trying to use whatever he says to destroy him. In verse 15 (NKJV), she has the gall to say: "How can you say, 'I love you,' when your heart is not with me? You have mocked me these three times and have not told me where your great strength lies." Crazy thing is, he finally tells her! Who would've thought a haircut could be a hero's "Kryptonite"? Goliath put the G in Giant! Which scared everyone except David. What Saul and the others failed to comprehend, is that David didn't let circumstances determine his demeanor. With his strong faith in God, David wasn't about to let a little thing like a giant ruin his day. Killing Goliath with a stone made David a rock star. Get right with God; or be left with Satan. Poor Peter, situations twist around so quickly for him. He steps out of the boat to walk on water, but noticing the boisterous waves, he begins to sink. He declares Jesus is the Son of God, but seconds later, says he won't let Him be crucified, earning the harshest of admonitions: "Get behind me, Satan!" And when he warms himself at a fire, a servant girl identifies him as a disciple of Jesus. A fact Peter denies three times with increasing intensity, even though he previously promised Jesus he'd die with Him. And yet, hearing Jesus is no longer in the grave, he races to the tomb. Not as fast as John, but as fast as he can go. In the NKJV, Paul uses his famous phrase "not to mention", which he also uses in 2 Corinthians 9:4. His wry way of slipping in some humor to make his point. Where upon Paul reminds Philemon he owes Paul for the everlasting security of his eternal soul! The I Saved Your Soul Card! Paul plays a mighty hand indeed. Why do people pray for me to have patience, instead of praying for God to give me what I want right now?! Share the Joy of the Lord! To make sure that this book does more than just entertain, the Parting Thoughts section explains the Gospel message. We're called to be born again; not bored again. Blessings & Joy, The Dean James Version P.S. Before you buy this book, check out "Holy Ketchup Seed Comedy Combo".