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Do Ants Have Assholes?

Author: Jon Butler

Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.

Published: 2009-04-01

Total Pages: 194

ISBN-13: 1402247397

"Every year, one funny book seems to stand out from all the others. This year, it's Do Ants Have [Assholes]?…a rip-roaring parody" Spectator "The book being touted as this year's can't-miss, downstairs-loo-fixture of a dead-cert publishing-phenomenon-sensation" Guardian "A very funny spoof of pop-science collections" Daily Telegraph A venerable and historic newspaper, the Old Geezer is read and respected by the world's most conscientious, upright citizens. When these beacons of respectability have serious questions, they turn to the Old Geezer's "Questions and Answers" page. Do Ants Have Assholes? collects the enlightening answers to thought-provoking questions such as: If you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant, what do you do? How many men would it take to kill an elephant with their bare hands? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown? Are "crabs" related to crabs? What if there were no hypothetical questions?

Do Bats Have Bollocks?

Author: Jon Butler

Publisher: Sphere

Published: 2008-12-04

Total Pages: 174

ISBN-13: 0748111042

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The letters page of Old Git magazine continues to offer its readers an opportunity to ask and provide answers to the most pressing questions of our times. Questions such as: Would it help global warming if I left my fridge door open? What's the riskiest game of risk ever played? If I fell down a disused mineshaft would Lassie really run and get help, or just sit there licking his balls? Do Bats Have Bollocks? features a host of completely new and untrue questions and answers. With bags more rude jokes, shaggy dog stories and the odd entry from a new, bewildered editor who's wondering what the hell he's got himself into, this book is every bit as laugh-out-loud funny as last year's hugely successful volume Do Ants Have Arseholes?

Five Go Absolutely Nowhere

Author: Bruno Vincent

Publisher: Hachette UK

Published: 2020-05-21

Total Pages: 72

ISBN-13: 1529412102

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'Ah! This is the dream!' says Julian one morning. 'With good old British common sense and community spirit like this, there's no reason that we couldn't exist on the island like this for the rest of our days!' What could possibly go wrong . . .? Anne has gathered Julian, Dick, George and, of course, Timmy, together for a last nostalgic jaunt in the countryside together before grown-up responsibilities take the four cousins off in different directions. It's only natural that they find their way onto Kirrin Island for a look around, as this might be the last time they're here together as a group. They are planning just to spend the night there and come home the next day, perhaps with a little exploring in the dungeon for old time's sake. But that night they hear the country has gone into lockdown. They are not allowed to leave. With their usual resourcefulness, they are determined to make the best of it, and remain cheerful and healthy. As Anne keeps saying: They're lucky, really, to have all this countryside and fresh air at their disposal!

Do Ants Have Arseholes?

Author: Jon Butler

Publisher:

Published: 2007

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13:

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Provides a very funny, very silly collection of answers to questions you never thought you wanted to ask, but will feel all the better for knowing.

Five Give Up the Booze

Author: Bruno Vincent

Publisher: Quercus Publishing

Published: 2016-11-17

Total Pages: 96

ISBN-13: 1786482274

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Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy confront a new challenge: give up the booze. Give up alcohol you say? Why, of course they can! Talk about an easy challenge! Five old friends set about this simple task and find all of a sudden that: the days are longer; they get to see each other for who they really are; the empty laughter of ordinary conversation is so much harder to fake. Yes, they're saving money and losing weight, but the world itself seems to take on a slow, dreary inevitability. Soon they begin to snap at each other, and then fight - until they begin to wonder, have the Five at last found the challenge that will defeat them? The perfect gift for anyone who has woken up and promised themselves that they will never drink again. Or at least until next weekend.

Does Anything Eat Wasps

Author: New Scientist

Publisher: John Murray

Published: 2016-09-01

Total Pages: 224

ISBN-13: 1473651328

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Every year, readers send in thousands of questions to New Scientist, the world's best-selling science weekly, in the hope that the answers to them will be given in the 'Last Word' column - regularly voted the most popular section of the magazine. Does Anything Eat Wasps? is a collection of the best that have appeared, including: Why can't we eat green potatoes? Why do airliners suddenly plummet? Does a compass work in space? Why do all the local dogs howl at emergency sirens? How can a tree grow out of a chimney stack? Why do bruises go through a range of colours? Why is the sea blue inside caves? Many seemingly simple questions are actually very complex to answer. And some that seem difficult have a very simple explanation. New Scientist's 'Last Word' celebrates all questions - the trivial, the idiosyncratic, the baffling and the strange. This selection of the best is popular science at its most entertaining and enlightening.

Five Forget Mother's Day

Author: Bruno Vincent

Publisher: Hachette UK

Published: 2017-02-23

Total Pages: 112

ISBN-13: 1786486873

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Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy are keen to show Aunt Fanny how much she means to them. Join Julian, George, Dick, Anne and Timmy the dog as they try to celebrate Mother's Day with Aunt Fanny. George has past form in forgetting - not least her mum's birthday and Christmas presents - so tensions are running high even for the charged normality of their mother/daughter bond. But things go from bad to worse when Fanny comes to stay, with relations strained almost to breaking point. Can the Five save the day, and will Uncle Quentin get involved?

The Secret Diary of Mario Balotelli

Author: Bruno Vincent

Publisher: Sphere

Published: 2012-05-10

Total Pages: 136

ISBN-13: 1405516097

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'He's a total rock 'n' roller. There's a bit of Mario in all of us - well, maybe not Gary Neville - but the rest of us most definitely.' Noel Gallagher He may be football's latest superstar, but Mario Balotelli is just as famous off the pitch for his eccentricity and extraordinary antics. From the time he let off fireworks in his bathroom to the notorious bib incident, he's rarely out of the news. But in his secret diary*, as we follow Mario through one turbulent football season and the trail of mayhem he leaves in his wake, we discover that the headlines only tell half the story. Whether he's hiding Silvio Berlusconi in his basement, patrolling the streets of Manchester as a caped crusader or trying to be the first Premiership footballer to go to the moon, the truth is stranger, and much funnier, than we could have expected. *not the actual diary of Mario Balotelli

Why Don't Penguins' Feet Freeze?

Author: New Scientist

Publisher: John Murray

Published: 2016-09-01

Total Pages: 236

ISBN-13: 147365131X

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Why Don't Penguins' Feet Freeze? is the latest compilation of readers' answers to the questions in the 'Last Word' column of New Scientist, the world's best-selling science weekly. Following the phenomenal success of Does Anything Eat Wasps? - the Christmas 2005 surprise bestseller - this new collection includes recent answers never before published in book form, and also old favourites from the column's early days. Yet again, many seemingly simple questions turn out to have complex answers. And some that seem difficult have a very simple explanation. New Scientist's 'Last Word' is regularly voted the magazine's most popular section as it celebrates all questions - the trivial, idiosyncratic, baffling and strange. This new selection of the best is popular science at its most entertaining and enlightening.

Alphabetical Africa

Author: Walter Abish

Publisher: New Directions Publishing

Published: 1974

Total Pages: 168

ISBN-13: 9780811205337

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"Walter Abish has dovetailed his novel within a Procrustean scheme that has the terrifying and irrefutable logic of the alphabet. Alphabetical Africa is in the line of writers such as Raymond Roussel, Raymond Queneau, Georges Perec and Harry Mathews, who have used constrictive forms to penetrate the space on the other side of poetry." -- John Ashbery