Eternal Detention

Eternal Detention PDF

Author: Jamie Thomson

Publisher: Orchard Books

Published: 2014-04-03

Total Pages: 288

ISBN-13: 1408330288

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Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best. Fear me, o miserable worm! I, the Great Dirk, take up my pen once more to record the utter misery that is SCHOOL. My sworn enemy, Hasdruban the White, has infiltrated Whiteshields School and seeks vengeance on me. Naturally, I will triumph. But it is the Dirkest Hour indeed... BUY THIS BOOK OR SUFFER ONE OF THE FOLLOWING: -Being struck with a Blast of Ravening Flame -Banishment to the Slave Pits of Never Ending Toil -Torment by the Hewer of Limbs THE CHOICE IS YOURS. MWA HA HA!

Dark Lord: School's Out

Dark Lord: School's Out PDF

Author: Jamie Thomson

Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA

Published: 2014-02-04

Total Pages: 385

ISBN-13: 0802735223

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Now acclimated to life as a thirteen-year-old Earthling, Dirk Lloyd has contacted his home in the Darklands but so has his friend Sooz, who is forming her own alliances.

The Teenage Years

The Teenage Years PDF

Author: Jamie Thomson

Publisher: Orchard Books

Published: 2011

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9781408315118

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13-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation.

Dark Lord

Dark Lord PDF

Author: Jamie Thomson

Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA

Published: 2014-01-07

Total Pages: 321

ISBN-13: 080273541X

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Evil Dark Lord tries to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands when an arch-foe transports him to a small town, into the body of a thirteen-year-old boy.

The Dark Lord Trilogy: Star Wars Legends

The Dark Lord Trilogy: Star Wars Legends PDF

Author: James Luceno

Publisher: Random House Worlds

Published: 2008-08-26

Total Pages: 1106

ISBN-13: 0345485386

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For the first time in one thrilling volume, three novels–Labyrinth of Evil, Revenge of the Sith, and Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader–that follow an epic chain of events: the last days of the Republic, the creation of the Empire, and the ultimate transformation of Jedi Anakin Skywalker into the notorious Darth Vader. On the planet Neimoidia, Jedi Knights Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker seize an unexpected prize: intelligence capable of leading the Republic forces to the ever-elusive Darth Sidious, who is ruthlessly orchestrating a campaign to divide and overwhelm the Jedi forces. As combat escalates across the galaxy, and Darth Sidious remains one step ahead of his pursuers, the stage is set for an explosive endgame. Tormented by unspeakable visions, Anakin edges closer to the brink of a galaxy-shaping decision, while Darth Sidious plots to strike the final staggering blow against the Republic–and to ordain a fearsome new Sith Lord: Darth Vader. Once the most powerful Knight ever known to the Jedi Order, Anakin becomes Darth Vader, a disciple of the dark side, a lord of the dreaded Sith, and the avenging right hand of the galaxy’s ruthless new Emperor. As a few surviving Jedi lead a charge on a Separatist stronghold, the deadliest threat still rests in the swift and lethal crimson lightsaber of Darth Vader–behind whose brooding mask lies a shattered heart, a poisoned soul, and a cunning, twisted mind hell-bent on vengeance. For the handful of scattered Jedi hunted across space, survival is imperative if the light side of the Force is to be protected and the galaxy reclaimed. LABYRINTH OF EVIL by James Luceno REVENGE OF THE SITH by Matthew Stover, based on the story and screenplay by George Lucas DARK LORD The Rise of Darth Vader by James Luceno

The Teenage Years

The Teenage Years PDF

Author: Jamie Thomson

Publisher: Orchard Books

Published: 2011-10-06

Total Pages: 177

ISBN-13: 1408316552

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Winner of the 2012 Roald Dahl Funny Prize! Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation. Following a colossal final battle between the forces of good and evil, the Dark Lord was defeated and hurled by his arch-foe's spells into the Pit of Uttermost Despair. At the bottom of the Pit lies...a supermarket car park in the municipal town of Whiteshields, somewhere in modern day England. And when he is found, and tries to explain that he is the Dark Lord, people think he means Dirk Lloyd. The fact that he's trapped in the puny body of a schoolboy doesn't help. And so begins Dirk's battle to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands... Along the way he faces the inconvenience of being fostered by a do-gooding family, the Purejoies; the torture of endless hours of drudgery at the Whiteshields Brainwashing Centre (aka school); a vengeful Headmaster; two interfering Psychotic Persecutors (psychotherapists); and constant laughter and disrespect when he attempts to marshall his lackeys and lickspittles (friends) to do what he wants them to. Dirk makes friends with the son of his foster family, Christopher, and the local Goth Girl, Sooz, and together they attempt to cast a spell that will transport Dirk back to his homeland. Inevitably, not everything goes to plan... But that's for book 2 Roald Dahl Prize winner, 2012.

A Fiend in Need

A Fiend in Need PDF

Author: Jamie Thomson

Publisher: Orchard Books

Published: 2012-03-01

Total Pages: 274

ISBN-13: 1408316560

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Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best. Sooz, a 13 yr old girl from Surrey has become the Dark Mistress of Dirk's other worldly kingdom, the Darklands. Thanks to the Ring of Power given to her by Dirk, his minions recognise her as their ruler. Sooz immediately sets about redecorating Dirk's Dark Tower to the taste of a young girl. But Sooz has to face her toughest challenge when an army of fanatical paladins and orcs gather to march against her. Despite their centuries of hostility to each other, they prefer to form an alliance rather than accept Sooz's new regime. And what of Dirk? He continues on slaving away at school, plotting ways to rescue Sooz. Eventually he is able to advise her on life in the Darklands and Sooz is able to hold back the fanatical paladins.

Headmaster of Doom

Headmaster of Doom PDF

Author: Jamie Thomson

Publisher: Hachette UK

Published: 2017-02-09

Total Pages: 256

ISBN-13: 1408341433

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Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the boy of a weedy schoolboy, returns in a darkly hilarious adventure set in the most ghoulish school you'll encounter this side of the Darklands ... Fourth in the brilliant series that began with the Roald Dahl Funny Prize-winning DARK LORD: THE TEENAGE YEARS, also chosen as one of the Sunday Times's 100 Modern Children Classics. Perfect for fans of Philip Reeve and David Walliams.

The Dark Lord's Handbook

The Dark Lord's Handbook PDF

Author: Paul Dale

Publisher:

Published: 2012

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9781476235943

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"To become a Dark Lord is no easy thing. The simple ambition to hold dominion over the world and bend all to your will sounds straightforward but it's not. There's armies to raise, fortresses to build, heroes to defeat, battles to be fought, hours of endless soliloquy in front of the mirror – it's a never ending job. Not to mention deciding what to wear. (After hours, days, even weeks of consideration, it will be black.)After many spectacular failures, Evil decided to lend more than inspiration to these would be tyrants. He wrote an easy to follow Dark Lord's Handbook. And yet the next Dark Lord that came along screwed up like all the others.It had been hundreds of years, and the Handbook was seemingly lost in the annals of time, along with all that was mythic and exciting in the world. Then one day a randy dragon had a chance encounter. Nine months later a Dark Lord was born.In time, the Handbook found its way to this new contender, Morden.To become a Dark Lord is no easy thing. Morden had better be a quick study." -- Provided by publisher.

The Dark Lord Clementine

The Dark Lord Clementine PDF

Author: Sarah Jean Horwitz

Publisher: Algonquin Young Readers

Published: 2019-10-01

Total Pages: 337

ISBN-13: 1616208945

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The new face of big evil is a little . . . small. Dastardly deeds aren’t exactly the first things that come to mind when one hears the name “Clementine,” but as the sole heir of the infamous Dark Lord Elithor, twelve-year-old Clementine Morcerous has been groomed since birth to be the best (worst?) Evil Overlord she can be. But everything changes the day her father is cursed by a mysterious rival. Now, Clementine must not only search for a way to break the curse, but also take on the full responsibilities of the Dark Lord. But when it’s time for her to perform dastardly deeds against the townspeople—including her brand-new friends—she begins to question her father’s code of good and evil. What if the Dark Lord Clementine doesn’t want to be a dark lord after all?