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ClownFellas

Author: Carlton Mellick, III

Publisher: Hydra

Published: 2015-07-14

Total Pages: 402

ISBN-13: 0804179352

“Carlton Mellick III goes past silly, through weird, detours around dumb, blasts through bizarre, and gets to a place where the normal physics of narrative no longer apply. You will never be the same.”—Cory Doctorow, author of Little Brother and Homeland In a topsy-turvy world where clowns are killers and crooks, Little Bigtop is a three-ring circus of crime, and no syndicate is more dangerous than the Binzo family. From the wildly original mind of Carlton Mellick III comes the short-story collection ClownFellas—an epic mob saga where life is cheap and the gags will slay you. For years, the hard-boiled capos of the Binzo family have run all of the funny business in Little Bigtop, from the clown brothels to the illegal comedy trade. But hard times have befallen the Binzos now that Le Mystère, the French clown Mafia, has started moving in and trying to take over the city. If that weren’t enough, they’ve got to deal with the cops, the Feds, the snitches, the carnies, the mysterious hit man Mr. Pogo, and the mutant clowns over in the Sideshow district. With the odds stacked against them, the Binzos must fight to survive . . . or die laughing. Praise for ClownFellas “Mario Puzo meets Barnum & Bailey . . . You just can’t look away as the ridiculousness escalates.”—Publishers Weekly “The most original novelist working today? The most outrageous? The most unpredictable? These aren’t easy superlatives to make; however, Carlton Mellick may well be all of those things, behind a canon of books that all irreverently depart from the form and concepts of traditional novels, and adventure the reader into a howling, dark fantasyland of the most bizarre, over-the-top, and mind-warping inventiveness. In my opinion, ClownFellas is his best work to date.”—Edward Lee, author of City Infernal and Header “I rarely enjoy clowns—which is ironic since I’ve been one for over four decades—but ClownFellas is great on so many levels, irony being one of them. What can I say besides I love it! Great read, and funny as hell . . . I have been accused of being unfunny before, and after the trial I had to enter the Witless Protection Program. This is funny!”—Barry Lubin, aka Grandma, longtime Big Apple Circus clown “If Martin Scorsese and Ronald McDonald had a baby, this would be it. . . . Each story is clever, multi-layered, and filled with witty dialogue. . . . A must-read.”—This Is Horror “Mellick’s writing is wonderfully descriptive and wildly imaginative. . . . I was utterly delighted, amused, and engrossed. . . . ClownFellas is a gem!”—The Qwillery “A rollercoaster ride through a strange world that borders on our own reality . . . a story that is just as difficult to define as it is to put down.”—Examiner.com “Mellick has created another amazing read. . . . Highly recommended.”—Kitty Horror

Del Rey and Bantam Books 2015 Sampler

Author: Diana Gabaldon

Publisher: Ballantine Group

Published: 2015-06-29

Total Pages: 791

ISBN-13: 080418156X

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Visionary new worlds come to life once again in this eBook sampler featuring thirty-one excerpts from Del Rey and Bantam Books! Collected here are hints of the best science fiction and fantasy on offer today, from modern classics to bleeding-edge bestsellers. Maybe the hit Starz series has you curious about Diana Gabaldon’s genre-defying Outlander, or The Shannara Chronicles has inspired you to dive into the timeless fantasy novels of Terry Brooks. Maybe you’re a Star Wars fan who can’t wait to take the journey to The Force Awakens. Maybe you’ve heard a lot about Pierce Brown’s The Red Rising Trilogy, Kevin Hearne’s The Iron Druid Chronicles, or Peter V. Brett’s The Demon Cycle and wish to take a sneak peek. Whatever the reason, you’ve come to the right place. Because this year’s sampler is bigger and better than ever! Featuring provocative work from New York Times bestselling stalwarts like Scott Sigler, Harry Turtledove, and China Miéville alongside rising stars like C. A. Higgins, Sylvain Neuvel, and Carlton Mellick III, this eBook sampler shows you the future of fiction. Within are excerpts of: THE ABYSS BEYOND DREAMS by Peter F. Hamilton ALIVE by Scott Sigler ASSASSIN’S APPRENTICE by Robin Hobb BOMBS AWAY by Harry Turtledove CHILDREN OF FIRE by Drew Karpyshyn CLASH OF EAGLES by Alan Smale CLOWNFELLAS by Carlton Mellick III CONSUMPTION by Heather Herrman THE ELFSTONES OF SHANNARA by Terry Brooks EMERGENCE: DAVE VS. THE MONSTERS by John Birmingham GREEN EARTH by Kim Stanley Robinson HALF A KING by Joe Abercrombie THE HAMMER AND THE BLADE by Paul S. Kemp HIS MAJESTY’S DRAGON by Naomi Novik HOUNDED by Kevin Hearne THE LIES OF LOCKE LAMORA by Scott Lynch LIESMITH by Alis Franklin LIGHTLESS by C. A. Higgins MERCY HOUSE by Adam Cesare OLD VENUS, edited by George R. R. Martin and Gardner Dozois OUTLANDER by Diana Gabaldon RED RISING by Pierce Brown THE SHADOW REVOLUTION: CROWN & KEY by Clay Griffith and Susan Griffith SLEEPING GIANTS by Sylvain Neuvel STAR WARS: A NEW DAWN by John Jackson Miller STAR WARS: DARK DISCIPLE by Christie Golden STAR WARS: LORDS OF THE SITH by Paul S. Kemp THREE MOMENTS OF AN EXPLOSION by China Miéville UPROOTED by Naomi Novik THE WARDED MAN by Peter V. Brett ZERO WORLD by Jason M. Hough

Clown Fatale

Author: Victor Gischler

Publisher: Dark Horse Comics

Published: 2014-07

Total Pages: 114

ISBN-13: 1616554347

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They abandon their dilapidated travelling circus to try and make their fortune. But they quickly find out that to prove themselves in the world of big-contract killers, they must co-operate or face the consequences - not something they are always prepared to do. Clown Fatale is escapist fun at its absolute finest, filled with high-octane action sequences, daring disguises and buckets of face-paint. Gischler's creation is seedy, violent and unforgiving, but never fails to be stylish and colourful.

Satan Burger (15th Anniversary Edition)

Author: Carlton Mellick III

Publisher: Eraserhead Press

Published: 2016-07-01

Total Pages: 296

ISBN-13: 9781621052180

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When Satan Burger was first being passed around among teenage punks and fans of weird art and film, there was nothing else like it. A book of rebellious spirit that simplistically captured the postmodern malaise of a culture obsessed with consumerism. It quickly gained an underground following, was transcribed by fans and bootlegged online, was translated into Russian and made its way around the world attracting the attention of readers bored with typical mainstream fare. Combining a satirical wit and style on par with legendary humorists such as Kurt Vonnegut and Russell Edson with the crazy punk ethos of cult film directors such as Terry Gilliam, David Lynch, and Takashi Miike, this was a book overflowing with so many new ideas and absurd philosophies that it not only launched the career of underground author Carlton Mellick III, but inspired an entire literary movement. For the fifteenth anniversary of the release of this Bizarro Fiction classic, Eraserhead Press is thrilled to present this special hardcover edition, featuring an introduction by splatterpunk legend John Skipp, illustrations by Ryan Ward, and a new preface by the author. Satan Burger explores a new kind of apocalypse. Not an apocalypse caused by disease or nuclear war, but an apocalypse of boredom. A plague of monotony has spread across the countryside, sucking all passion and inspiration out of everyone over the age of twenty-five, leaving only the disenfranchised youth to fend for themselves in a world crumbling around them. Featuring a narrator who sees his body from a third-person perspective, a man whose flesh is dead but his body parts are alive and running amok, an overweight messiah, the personal life of the Grim Reaper, a race of women who feed on male orgasms, and a motley group of squatter punks that team up with the devil to find their place in a world that doesn't want them anymore.

We Went to the Woods

Author: Caite Dolan-Leach

Publisher: Random House

Published: 2019-07-02

Total Pages: 369

ISBN-13: 0399588884

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They went off the grid. Their secrets didn’t. For readers of The Secret History and The Immortalists comes a novel about the allure—and dangers—of disconnecting. “A sharp, spellbinding cautionary tale, one that reminds us that even those who do remember the past might also wind up repeating it.”—NPR (Best Books of the Year) Certain that society is on the verge of economic and environmental collapse, five disillusioned twenty-somethings make a bold decision: They gather in upstate New York to transform an abandoned farm, once the site of a turn-of-the-century socialist commune, into an idyllic self-sustaining compound called the Homestead. Mack, a publicly disgraced grad-school dropout, believes it’s her calling to write their story. She immediately falls in love with all four friends, seduced by their charisma and grand plans—and deeply attracted to their secrets. But it proves difficult for Mack to uncover the truth about their nightly disappearances and complicated loyalties, especially since she is protecting her own past. Initially exhilarated by restoring the rustic dwellings, planting a garden, and learning the secrets of fermentation, the group is soon divided by intense romantic and sexual relationships, jealousies, slights and suspicions. And as winter settles in, their experiment begins to feel not only misguided, but deeply isolating and dangerous. Caite Dolan-Leach spins a poignant and deeply human tale with sharp insights into our modern anxieties, our collective failures, and the timeless desire to withdraw from the world. Praise for We Went to the Woods “We Went to the Woods is a chillingly cautionary tale for the twenty-first century, an enthralling story of failed nobility and the consequences of trying to escape from a world that will never let you go. Caite Dolan-Leach’s prose is both nimble and elegantly evocative, leading the reader through the idyllic pastures and deadly pitfalls of a rustic experiment gone wrong. As five hopeful idealists try to live off the land, the reader sees their friendships blossom, and yet we hardly dare look, knowing as the seasons turn that something even darker than winter is on its way.”—Christopher J. Yates, author of Grist Mill Road and Black Chalk

Streets of Fire and Shadow

Author: Christopher D. Schmitz

Publisher: Kydala Publishing, Inc.

Published:

Total Pages: 754

ISBN-13:

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15 intriguing Urban Fantasy tales. Written by wizards... intended for muggles. This collection of fresh voices features paranormal investigators and jazz-loving demons, dragons and the supernatural, gods in Chicago and killer clowns. Each author in this collection has a wealth of additional stories, meaning this is just the beginning. Pick it up now… and enter a new and fantastic world!

The Gift of Fire and On the Head of a Pin

Author: Walter Mosley

Publisher: Macmillan + ORM

Published: 2012-05-08

Total Pages: 212

ISBN-13: 1429985763

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New York Times bestselling author Walter Mosley delivers two speculative tales, in one volume, of everyday people exposed to life-altering truths. The Gift of Fire In ancient mythology, the Titan Prometheus was punished by the gods for bringing man the gift of fire—an event that set humankind on its course of knowledge. As punishment for making man as powerful as gods, Prometheus was bound to a rock; every day his immortal body was devoured by a giant eagle. But in The Gift of Fire, those chains cease to be, and the great champion of man walks from that immortal prison into present-day South Central Los Angeles. On the Head of a Pin Joshua Winterland and Ana Fried are working at Jennings-Tremont Enterprises when they make the most important discovery in the history of this world—or possibly the next. JTE is developing advanced animatronics editing techniques to create high-end movies indistinguishable from live-action. Long dead stars can now share the screen with today's A-list. But one night Joshua and Ana discover something lingering in the rendered footage...an entity that will lead them into a new age beyond the reality they have come to know. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Apeshit

Author: Carlton Mellick Iii

Publisher:

Published: 2013-10

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9781621050414

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Friday the 13th meets Visitor Q. Apeshit is Mellick's love letter to the great and terrible B-horror movie genre. Six trendy teenagers (three cheerleaders and three football players) go to an isolated cabin in the mountains for a weekend of drinking, partying, and crazy sex, only to find themselves in the middle of a life and death struggle against a horribly mutated psychotic freak that just won't stay dead. Mellick parodies this horror clich and twists it into something deeper and stranger. It is the literary equivalent of a grindhouse film. It is a splatter punk's wet dream. It is perhaps one of the most fucked up books ever written. If you are a fan of Takashi Miike, Evil Dead, early Peter Jackson, or Eurotrash horror, then you must read this book.

The Haunted Vagina

Author: Carlton Mellick

Publisher:

Published: 2006

Total Pages: 128

ISBN-13:

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Steve is madly in love with his eccentric girlfriend, Stacy. Unfortunately, their sex life has been suffering as of late, because Steve is worried about the odd noises that have been coming from Stacy's pubic region. She says that her vagina is haunted. She doesn't think it's that big of a deal. Steve, on the other hand, completely disagrees. When a living corpse climbs out of her during an awkward night of sex, Stacy learns that her vagina is actually a doorway to another world. She persuades Steve to climb inside of her to explore this strange new place. But once inside, Steve finds it difficult to return... especially once he meets an oddly attractive woman named Fig, who lives within the lonely haunted world between Stacy's legs.

Full Metal Octopus

Author: Carlton Mellick, III

Publisher:

Published: 2021-07-20

Total Pages: 216

ISBN-13: 9781621053163

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For almost 20 years, Carlton Mellick III has been writing some of the strangest and most compelling novels the bizarro fiction genre has to offer. Described as one of the top 40 science-fiction writers under the age of 40 by The Guardian and "one of the most original novelists working today" by extreme horror legend Edward Lee, Mellick returns with an erotic urban fantasy crime novel about love and violence, sex and sexuality, oppression and overcoming impossible odds. Welcome to Grub Town, the most corrupt city in America. A place where gutter punk mermaids swim in sewage-filled canals, fairy prostitutes hang in birdcages on every street corner, and yakuza elves run everything behind the scenes. Eliot is the most beautiful fairy in all of the city with his dazzling emerald green butterfly wings that make everyone who sees them fall instantly in lust with him. But it's more of a curse than a blessing. Forced to hide his wings in public in order to avoid the constant sexual harassment, Eliot only finds solace when visiting his friends at the Snake Pit lamia strip club or getting tattooed by the dark and mysterious half-octopus woman named Oona. Oona is the best tattooist in the city, but she is a frightening woman three times Eliot's size with nine-foot tentacles that could choke a man to death in seconds. But despite this fact, Eliot is desperately in love with her. He's so infatuated with the octomaid that he gets new tattoos from her each and every week just to be closer to her, addicted to having her artwork permanently embedded into his skin. But when Eliot accidentally murders the only heir to the elf yakuza crime family in Oona's tattoo shop, they are forced to go on the run together, hoping to avoid the wrath of the most dangerous man in town. With everyone in the city out to get them, they can only rely on each other if they have any hope for survival. Like if Quentin Tarantino played with Monster High dolls, Full Metal Octopus is a return to Mellick's pulpy gritty bizarro style previously seen in The Cannibals of Candyland, Armadillo Fists, and Clownfellas.