Bright Lights, Big Ass

Bright Lights, Big Ass PDF

Author: Jen Lancaster

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2007-05-01

Total Pages: 404

ISBN-13: 9780451221254

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Jen Lancaster hates to burst your happy little bubble, but life in the big city isn't all it's cracked up to be. Contrary to what you see on TV and in the movies, most urbanites aren't party-hopping in slinky dresses and strappy stilettos. But lucky for us, Lancaster knows how to make the life of the lower crust mercilessly funny and infinitely entertaining. Whether she's reporting rude neighbors to Homeland Security, harboring a crush on her grocery store clerk, or fighting-and losing-the Battle of the Stairmaster- Lancaster explores how silly, strange, and not-so-fabulous real city living can be. And if anyone doesn't like it, they can kiss her big, fat, pink, puffy down parka.

Bright Lights, Big Ass

Bright Lights, Big Ass PDF

Author: Jen Lancaster

Publisher:

Published: 2007

Total Pages: 385

ISBN-13: 9781429534147

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Jen Lancaster hates to burst your happy little bubble, but life in the big city isn't all it's cracked up to be. Contrary to what you see on TV and in the movies, most urbanites aren't party-hopping in slinky dresses and strappy stilettos. But lucky for us, Lancaster knows how to make the life of the lower crust mercilessly funny and infinitely entertaining. Whether she's reporting rude neighbors to Homeland Security, harboring a crush on her grocery store clerk, or fighting-and losing-the Battle of the Stairmaster- Lancaster explores how silly, strange, and not-so-fabulous real city living can be. And if anyone doesn't like it, they can kiss her big, fat, pink, puffy down parka.

Bright Lights, Big Ass

Bright Lights, Big Ass PDF

Author: Jen Lancaster

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2007-05-01

Total Pages: 400

ISBN-13: 1101128410

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Jen Lancaster hates to burst your happy little bubble, but life in the big city isn't all it's cracked up to be. Contrary to what you see on TV and in the movies, most urbanites aren't party-hopping in slinky dresses and strappy stilettos. But lucky for us, Lancaster knows how to make the life of the lower crust mercilessly funny and infinitely entertaining. Whether she's reporting rude neighbors to Homeland Security, harboring a crush on her grocery store clerk, or fighting-and losing-the Battle of the Stairmaster- Lancaster explores how silly, strange, and not-so-fabulous real city living can be. And if anyone doesn't like it, they can kiss her big, fat, pink, puffy down parka.

My Fair Lazy

My Fair Lazy PDF

Author: Jen Lancaster

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2011-05-03

Total Pages: 400

ISBN-13: 0451231864

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Readers have followed New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster through job loss, sucky city living, weight loss attempts, and 1980s nostalgia. Now, in this bitter and witty memoir, Jen chronicles her efforts to achieve cultural enlightenment, with some hilarious missteps and genuine moments of inspiration along the way. Jen uses any means necessary on her quest to better herself: reading canonical literature, viewing classic films, attending the opera, researching artisan cheeses, and even enrolling in etiquette classes to improve her social graces. In Jen’s corner is a crack team of experts, including Page Six socialites, gourmet chefs, an opera aficionado, and a master sommelier. She may discover that well-regarded, high-priced stinky cheese tastes exactly as bad as it smells, and that her love for Kraft American Singles is forever. But one thing’s for certain: Eliza Doolittle’s got nothing on Jen Lancaster—and failure is an option.

Bitter is the New Black

Bitter is the New Black PDF

Author: Jen Lancaster

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2006-03-07

Total Pages: 418

ISBN-13: 1101128402

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New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster takes you from sorority house to penthouse to poorhouse in her hilarious memoir of living the sweet life—until real life kicked her to the curb. She had the perfect man, the perfect job—hell, she had the perfect life—and there was no reason to think it wouldn't last. Or maybe there was, but Jen Lancaster was too busy being manicured, pedicured, highlighted, and generally adored to notice. This is the smart-mouthed, soul-searching story of a woman trying to figure out what happens next when she's gone from six figures to unemployment checks and she stops to reconsider some of the less-than-rosy attitudes and values she thought she'd never have to answer for when times were good. Filled with caustic wit and unusual insight, it's a rollicking read as speedy and unpredictable as the trajectory of a burst balloon.

I Regret Nothing

I Regret Nothing PDF

Author: Jen Lancaster

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2015-05-05

Total Pages: 322

ISBN-13: 0698166981

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THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster has lived a life based on re-invention and self-improvement. From Bitter Is the New Black to The Tao of Martha, she’s managed to document her (and her generation’s) attempts to shape up, grow up, and have it all—sometimes with disastrous results… Sure Jen has made mistakes. She spent all her money from a high-paying job on shoes, clothes, and spa treatments. She then carried a Prada bag to the unemployment office. She wrote a whole memoir about dieting…but didn’t lose weight. She embarked on a quest for cultural enlightenment that only cemented her love for John Hughes movies and Kraft American Singles. She tried to embrace everything Martha Stewart, while living with a menagerie of rescue cats and dogs. (Glitter…everywhere.) Mistakes are one thing; regrets are another. After a girls’ weekend in Savannah makes her realize that she is—yikes!—middle-aged (binge watching is so the new binge drinking), Jen decides to make a bucket list and seize the day, even if that means having her tattoo removed at one hundred times the cost of putting it on. From attempting a juice cleanse to studying Italian, from learning to ride a bike to starting a new business, and from sampling pasta in Rome to training for a 5K, Jen is turning a mid-life crisis into a mid-life opportunity, sharing her sometimes bumpy—but always hilarious—attempts to better her life…again.

The Tao of Martha

The Tao of Martha PDF

Author: Jen Lancaster

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2014-05-06

Total Pages: 353

ISBN-13: 045141764X

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One would think that with her impressive list of bestselling self-improvement memoirs Jen Lancaster would have it all together by now. One would be wrong. After all, she’s no Martha Stewart. And that’s why Jen is going to Martha up and live her life according to the advice of America’s overachieving older sister—the woman who turns lemons into lavender-infused lemonade. By immersing herself in Martha’s media empire, Jen embarks on a yearlong quest to take herself, her house, her husband (and maybe even her pets) to the next level—from closet organization to party planning. Maybe Jen can avoid food poisoning if she follows Martha’s dictates on proper storage. Maybe she can rid her workout clothes of meatball stains by using Martha’s laundry tips. Maybe she can create a more meaningful anniversary celebration than getting drunk in the pool with her husband. Again. And maybe she’ll discover that the key to happiness does, in fact, lie in Martha’s perfectly arranged cupboards and charcuterie platters.

Pretty in Plaid

Pretty in Plaid PDF

Author: Jen Lancaster

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2009

Total Pages: 386

ISBN-13: 9780451226808

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The newest memoir from the New York Times best-selling author of Such a Pretty Fat offers an humorous, inside look at the scribe's childhood. Original.

Here I Go Again

Here I Go Again PDF

Author: Jen Lancaster

Publisher: Penguin Group

Published: 2014-01-07

Total Pages: 353

ISBN-13: 0451416856

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With her debut novel, If You Were Here, Jen Lancaster “[leapt] into the fiction arena with her rapier-sharp wit in one hand and a fistful of Home Depot gift cards in the other” (New York Times bestselling author Joshilyn Jackson). Now she goes from the trauma of home renovation to the drama of soul renovation in Here I Go Again.... Twenty years after ruling the halls of her suburban Chicago high school, Lissy Ryder doesn’t understand why her glory days ended. Back then, she was worshipped…beloved…feared. Present day, not so much. She’s been pink-slipped from her high-paying job, dumped by her husband, and kicked out of her condo. Now, at thirty-seven, she’s struggling to start a business from her parents’ garage and sleeping under the hair-band posters in her old bedroom. Lissy finally realizes karma is the only bitch bigger than she was. Her present is miserable because of her past. But it’s not like she can go back in time and change who she was...or can she?

Such a Pretty Fat

Such a Pretty Fat PDF

Author: Jen Lancaster

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2008-05-06

Total Pages: 400

ISBN-13: 1440635420

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A NOTE FROM JEN LANCASTER: "To whom the fat rolls…I'm tired of books where a self-loathing heroine is teased to the point where she starves herself skinny in hopes of a fabulous new life. And I hate the message that women can't possibly be happy until we all fit into our skinny jeans. I don't find these stories uplifting; they make me want to hug these women and take them out for fizzy champagne drinks and cheesecake and explain to them that until they figure out their insides, their outsides don't matter. Unfortunately, being overweight isn't simply a societal issue that can be fixed with a dose healthy of positive self-esteem. It’s a health matter, and here on the eve of my fortieth year, I've learned I have to make changes so I don't, you know, die. Because what good is finally being able to afford a pedicure if I lose a foot to adult onset diabetes?" Watch a QuickTime trailer for this book.