How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack

How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack PDF

Author: Chuck Sambuchino

Publisher: Ten Speed Press

Published: 2010-09-07

Total Pages: 114

ISBN-13: 158008463X

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Move over zombies and adolescent vampires. There’s a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here. Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a secured perimeter is breached—confronting and combating the attackers at close range.

Among the Gnomes: An Occult Tale of Adventure in the Untersberg

Among the Gnomes: An Occult Tale of Adventure in the Untersberg PDF

Author: Franz Hartmann

Publisher: Library of Alexandria

Published: 2011-01-01

Total Pages: 187

ISBN-13: 1465521151

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WHO has ever occupied himself seriously with the investigation of the “night-side of Nature,” or studied the works of Theophrastus Paracelsus, and not become acquainted with the celebrated “Untersberg” (the “mountain of the lower world”) and its mysterious inhabitants, the fairies and gnomes? Like a gigantic outpost of the Austrian Alps, this snow-capped wing of the mountains stands on the frontier of Germany, overlooking the Bavarian plains, dotted with hills, forests, and lakes. Its summit, dwelling above the clouds, dominates the valley through which the Salzach river winds its way to the Inn and the Danube. Seen from the north side, where the city of Salzburg is nestled among the hills, the mountain looks tame enough, rising in undulating forest-covered lines up to a height of some seven thousand feet; but on the south side it exhibits an almost endless variety of perpendicular walls, formed of marble rocks thousands of feet high, and interrupted by deep ravines and chasms, craggy cliffs, spurs, and precipices, over which in the time of spring, when the snow begins to melt, great avalanches come thundering down, and a sharp eye may detect in many an inaccessible spot mysterious caves, that seem to penetrate into the bowels of that mysterious mountain. If you will take the trouble of climbing up to these dizzy heights, you will find yourself in a new world, for there the Untersberg appears not as one single mountain, but as a mountain chain, of which each separate link has its special aspect and character, being separated from its neighbour by deep chasms, through which the mountain streams rush. There is no end of waterfalls, caves and labyrinths of boulders, where the inexperienced wanderer may lose his way, especially if he is misled by the gnomes—which may easily occur if his intentions are not pure. The Untersberg is known to be inhabited by certain kinds of elemental spirits of Nature, some of which are good and benevolent, others of a wicked and malicious nature, and inimical to mankind; and there are innumerable tales circulating among the people in the neighbourhood, telling about the doings of the gnomes, fairies, wild women, and giants, dwelling within caves and in gorgeous marble halls and grottoes filled with gold and precious stones that will turn into dead leaves and stones when seen in the light of day. Some of the friendly tribes come out of the Untersberg on certain occasions, and they are said to have sometimes associated with the inhabitants of our plane of existence, partaking in the dances and amusements of the peasants, and even taking stray children with them into the Untersberg; and, incredible as it may appear, it is even asserted by “those who know” that marriages have taken place between citizens of our world and the inhabitants of the kingdom of gnomes, and that these spirits of Nature, being themselves not immortal, seek to obtain immortality by their union with immortal man. The majority of the gnomes, therefore, also love plain, truthful, and unsophisticated human beings, such as possess a soul in which the light of the immortal spirit may be perceived, and with these they are ready to associate; but with soulless beings, such as sophisticated, sceptical, arrogant, short-sighted and opinionated scientists, whose hearts are dead, and whose brains are swollen with the products of their own fancy, they will have nothing to do; to such they never show themselves, but love to play tricks upon them whenever they come with a view of invading their kingdom.

Buttered 'n' Twisted Yarns

Buttered 'n' Twisted Yarns PDF

Author: Norm Gillam

Publisher: iUniverse

Published: 2003-05-14

Total Pages: 120

ISBN-13: 0595278450

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Buttered 'n' Twisted Yarns is a collection of unusual short stories catering to the secret and dark desires that reside deep within all of us. There's something for everyone. The stories portray life in the extreme; the absurd; the comical; and the bizarre. Stories of love gone wrong; hate gone wrong. Life perceived through the eyes of children, and even animals. Buttered 'n' Twisted Yarns also contains historical, futuristic and supernatural tales. Buckle up and take a macabre ride on the action packed 5-minute fiction express. Come and meet some of the homicidal maniacs, gorgeous gourmets, pyromaniacs and credit card wielding ghouls that make up a gruesome cross section of everyday life.

Popular Morality in the Early Roman Empire

Popular Morality in the Early Roman Empire PDF

Author: Teresa Morgan

Publisher: Cambridge University Press

Published: 2007-08-09

Total Pages: 464

ISBN-13: 1107321158

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Morality is one of the fundamental structures of any society, enabling complex groups to form, negotiate their internal differences and persist through time. In the first book-length study of Roman popular morality, Dr Morgan argues that we can recover much of the moral thinking of people across the Empire. Her study draws on proverbs, fables, exemplary stories and gnomic quotations, to explore how morality worked as a system for Roman society as a whole and in individual lives. She examines the range of ideas and practices and their relative importance, as well as questions of authority and the relationship with high philosophy and the ethical vocabulary of documents and inscriptions. The Roman Empire incorporated numerous overlapping groups, whose ideas varied according to social status, geography, gender and many other factors. Nevertheless it could and did hold together as an ethical community, which was a significant factor in its socio-political success.

Urban Gnome

Urban Gnome PDF

Author: Tom R. Lupara

Publisher: Trafford Publishing

Published: 2012-12-11

Total Pages: 551

ISBN-13: 1466966076

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Small, quick, and clever, gnomes are one of the few creatures to have survived to modern times. To this very day they remain living in the forests and in the mountains all around us, ever watchful, revealing no more of themselves than the rustle of underbrush and the patter of small feet. But everything will change for a little gnome named One when a neighborhood is built in the mountains he calls home. Frightened and alone, One will have to brave a strange new world by himself, one filled with countless dangers each more terrifying than the last—the worst of all being humans.

Jim Shore Enchanting Gnomes Coloring Book

Jim Shore Enchanting Gnomes Coloring Book PDF

Author: Jim Shore

Publisher: Design Originals

Published: 2021-10-26

Total Pages: 72

ISBN-13: 9781497205840

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This new coloring book for adults by award-winning artist Jim Shore is filled with more than 30 stunning designs of the most beloved character in folklore: gnomes. From Christmas gnomes to garden gnomes from around the world, you'll find page after page of charming caricatures, all illustrated in Jim's signature folk-art-inspired style. Also featured is a stunning gallery of Jim Shore's original artwork and an exclusive sneak peek inside his studio. Each line art design is printed on a single side of high-quality paper with perforated edges for easy removal and display.